A corrupt, junkie cop with Borderline Personality Disorder attempts to manipulate his way through a promotion in order to win back his wife and daughter while also fighting his own borderline-fueled inner demons.

[last lines]
Bruce Robertson: Same rules apply.
[from trailer]
Bladesey: What made you join the Force?
Bruce Robertson: Police oppression, brother.
Bladesey: You wanted to stamp it out from the inside?
Bruce Robertson: No, I wanted to be a part of it.
Bruce Robertson: I am on a murder case here. That's M-U-R-D-E-R, which spells S-E-R-I-O-U-S. So if I don't get my A-R-S-E in G-E-A-R, I'm in serious S-H-I-T, okay?
Chrissie: You're being so cruel!
Bruce Robertson: Love is cruel, Chrissie. Love is cruel.
Bruce Robertson: Sometimes it takes a wrongdoer to show you when you are doing wrong.
Bruce Robertson: I think they've left me. I think my family have left me. I don't know how. I can't remember why. You see, there's something wrong with me. There is something seriously wrong with me.
Bruce Robertson: Scotland. This nation brought the world television, the steam engine, golf, whiskey, penicillin, and of course, the deep-fried Mars bar. It is great being Scottish. We're such a uniquely successful race.
[walks past a pregnant woman smoking, a woman stuffing food in her mouth, and a man drinking from a small bottle]
Bruce Robertson: See, every time a woman drops her trousers: promotion. Every time a man drops theirs: disciplinary action. Where's the equality in that?
Ray Lennox: Don't start something you cannae fucking finish.
Bruce Robertson: I kid you not, my sweet sweet friend.
Bruce Robertson: Happy Christmas and all that shite.
[first lines]
Carole: People ask me, "Carole, how do you and Bruce keep the spice in your marriage?" Well, I tell them it's really simple. I'm just the ultimate tease.
[walking down the hallway in lingerie]
Carole: Me and Bruce, we're not that different. We know what we want. We know how to get it. Like this promotion he's going for. We both know he'll win. And when he does, the Robertson household is gonna be one big, happy family again. I kid you not.
Bruce Robertson: The games are always, repeat always, being played. But nobody plays the games like me. Detective Sergeant Bruce Robertson, soon to be Detective Inspector Bruce Robertson. You just have to be the best, and I usually am. Same rules apply.
[releases a small fart in room of fellow candidates]
Ray Lennox: Grass up?
Bruce Robertson: Or lock up?

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