A football player and his friends travel to the planet Mongo and find themselves fighting the tyranny of Ming the Merciless to save Earth.

Dale Arden: Flash, Flash, I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!
Prince Vultan: GORDON'S ALIVE!
Klytus: Bring me... the bore worms!
Princess Aura: No! Not the bore worms!
Kala: We're going to empty your memory as we might empty your pockets... Doctor.
Dr. Hans Zarkov: Don't empty my mind! Please, I beg you! My mind is all I have! I've spent my whole life trying to fill it!
[first lines]
The Emperor Ming: Klytus, I'm bored. What play thing can you offer me today?
Klytus: An obscure body in the S-K System, Your Majesty. The inhabitants refer to it as the planet Earth.
The Emperor Ming: How peaceful it looks.
[He activates a console, and watches as earthquakes, floods, etc. start to occur. They both get a good laugh out of it]
Klytus: Most effective, Your Majesty. Will you destroy this Earth?
The Emperor Ming: Later. I like to play with thing a while before annihilation.
[laughs evilly]
Prince Barin: Freeze! Yer bloody bastards!
Colonel of Battle Control Room: General Kala, Flash Gordon approaching.
Kala: What do you mean 'Flash Gordon approaching'?
Colonel of Battle Control Room: On a Hawkman rocket cycle. Shall I inform His Majesty?
Kala: Imbecile! The Emperor would shoot you for interrupting his wedding with this news! Fire when Gordon's in range!
[Flash is on a Hawkman rocket cycle and escapes]
Kala: He's escaping, idiot! Dispatch war rocket 'Ajax' to bring back his body!
Prince Vultan: Flash... when the ship hits the forcefield you'll be killed; this is suicide!
Flash Gordon: No Vultan... it's a rational transaction! One life for billions...
Princess Aura: [attempts to use her ring to open the door, it doesn't respond] They've changed the code!
Prince Barin: I've changed too, Aura.
Princess Aura: And I've changed, too.
Dr. Hans Zarkov: Oh, it's okay. I think I can work it out.
[starts to use Princess Aura's ring at different angles on the door]
Prince Barin: I love you. Will you marry me?
Princess Aura: I don't know, we'll try...
[breaks away as Barin moves in to kiss her]
Princess Aura: Not now, Barin...!
Prince Barin: You haven't changed...
Princess Aura: If I'm not at the wedding, I'll be shot
Dr. Hans Zarkov: [Finally manages to picks the electronic door lock with Aura's ring] A-ha! I thought it was one of the prime numbers of the Zenith series. *I* haven't changed.
Klytus: [watching Zarkov's memories of Hitler at a Nazi Party rally] Now, he showed promise!
Flash Gordon: Prince Barin! I'm not your enemy, Ming is! And you know it yourself. Ming is the enemy of every creature of Mongo! Let's all team up and fight him.
Zogi, the High Priest: Do you, Ming the Merciless, Ruler of the Universe, take this Earthling Dale Arden, to be your Empress of the Hour?
The Emperor Ming: Of the hour, yes.
Zogi, the High Priest: Do you promise to use her as you will?
The Emperor Ming: Certainly!
Zogi, the High Priest: Not to blast her into space?
[Ming glares at Zogi]
Zogi, the High Priest: Uh, until such time as you grow weary of her.
The Emperor Ming: I do.
Dale Arden: I do NOT!
Princess Aura: But my father has never kept a vow in his life!
Dale Arden: I can't help that, Aura. Keeping our word is one of the things that make us... better than you.
Flash Gordon: This Ming is a psycho!
Ming's Floating Servant: This Ming is a psycho.
Klytus: Who said that?
Ming's Floating Servant: The fair-haired prisoner.
Klytus: Who are you?
Flash Gordon: Flash Gordon. Quarterback. New York Jets.
Dale Arden: Dale Arden, Your Highness. Live and let live, that's my motto.
Dr. Hans Zarkov: [pulling a gun on Munson] Get your toothbrush and whatever!
[Flash is using football moves to fight Ming's soldiers]
The Emperor Ming: Klytus! What is he doing?
Klytus: I don't know, sir! It looks like some kind of barbaric sport!
Prince Barin: [to Flash] Welcome back from the grave.
[to Princess Aura]
Prince Barin: I knew you were up to something, though I'll confess I hadn't thought of necrophilia?
Prince Barin: [to Zarkov] Tell me more about this man Houdini.
The Emperor Ming: Klytus! Are your men on the right pills? Maybe you should execute their trainer!
Flash Gordon: This isn't happening, Dale. We're not here. It's just a bad dream.
Dale Arden: Oh, I agree completely. We'll wake up in any minute in Dock Harbor and have a laugh about this.
Flash Gordon: Only this time I won't just ask the maitre d' your name. I'll walk over and talk to you.
Dale Arden: You promise?
Flash Gordon: I promise. Cross my heart and hope to... I really will talk to you, Dale.
Flash Gordon: I'm flying blind on a rocket-cycle!
Princess Aura: Look! Water is leaking from her eyes.
The Emperor Ming: It's what they call tears, it's a sign of their weakness.
Dr. Hans Zarkov: What do you find? The moon out of orbit?
Munson: By more than 12 degrees. This must be some sort of mistake.
Dr. Hans Zarkov: No, it's no mistake... IT'S AN ATTACK! I've been right all these years!
Prince Vultan: [War Rocket Ajax is under heavy laser fire from Mingo City. Cut to Int. Ajax Cockpit. Flash is at the controls. Vultan is just reaching a ladder to leave] Come on, Flash! Come on! It's time to bail out!
Flash Gordon: Sorry, Vultan! I'm not coming!
Prince Vultan: What?
Flash Gordon: The rocketcycle's gone!
Prince Vultan: So, come on! I'll carry you!
Flash Gordon: Bail out, Vultan, before it's too late!
Prince Vultan: Flash,
[runs back to Flash]
Prince Vultan: are you crazy?
Flash Gordon: The fire's too heavy!
[pause]
Flash Gordon: You know we'll never make that opening with nobody at the wheel!
Prince Vultan: Come on! You'll be blown to pieces, Flash! It's suicide!
Flash Gordon: No, a rational transaction! One life for billions!
Prince Vultan: [Vultan grabs Flash's shoulders and shouts] Come on! You'll be destroyed!
Flash Gordon: [shouts] You loony bird!
[Pushes Vultan away]
Flash Gordon: Get outta here! They need you on the ground!
Prince Vultan: [Vultan holds out his right hand] Well, good bye, Flash! It's been...!
Flash Gordon: [Flash shakes Vultan's hand] I know! For me too, Vultan!
Flash Gordon: [Vultan heads back to the ladder and starts climbing] Tell Dale
[pause]
Flash Gordon: I know it would've been good!
Prince Vultan: [shouts] That must be one hell of a planet you men come from!
Flash Gordon: Not too bad!
Munson: Dr. Zarkov! There's no sun! It's 8:24 in the morning, and there's no sun!
Dr. Hans Zarkov: Check the angular vector of the moon!
Prince Vultan: [Flash is going to suicide ram Ming's palace, Vultan turns to Flash] That must be one hell of a planet you men come from!
Flash Gordon: Not too bad.
The Emperor Ming: Did you enjoy yourselves in Sibaria? I understand you flew the doctor there last week. Klytus kindly fed me the information.
Princess Aura: Klytus? He wants me himself. His agents are always making up lies about me.
Flash Gordon: The game's lost, Ming! Stop your attack on Earth and I'll spare your life!
The Emperor Ming: You pitiful fool! My life is not for any Earthling to give or take!
[Ming attempts to hold back Flash with the power of his ring. Flash approaches unaffected and menaces Ming with his sword. Ming cowers]
Flash Gordon: Your power is fading, Ming!
Dr. Hans Zarkov: We are only interested in friendship. Why do you attack us?
The Emperor Ming: Why not? Pathetic earthlings. Hurling your bodies out into the void, without the slightest inkling of who or what is out here. If you had known anything about the true nature of the universe, anything at all, you would've hidden from it in terror.
Dr. Hans Zarkov: Look at them! The poor wretches are just waiting for someone to lead them in revolt...!
Flash Gordon: [annoyed] Oh, are you looking at ME, Zarkov?
Flash Gordon: Where am I?
Princess Aura: Back from the dead. I've saved you.
Flash Gordon: My God! How?
Princess Aura: By magic, of course. With a kiss, because I like you.
Princess Aura: Fly back to your kingdom. You may see me sooner than you think.
[kisses Barin]
Prince Barin: Lying bitch.
Flash Gordon: Biro's hit! I'm going in after him!
[flies off]
Prince Vultan: Grrrr! Impetuous boy!
Prince Vultan: Ah, well; who wants to live forever?
Prince Vultan: [laughs heartily, to the Hawkmen] DIVE!
[Flash is in chains and with a helmet over his head]
Flash Gordon: I demand to see the governor! I can hardly breathe in this thing!
Klytus: Yes, you don't look well. I'm told you refused your final meal. The chef will be upset.
Flash Gordon: Tell 'em to go to hell!
Klytus: Maybe just as well. Gas works more quickly on an empty stomach. Any final requests?
Flash Gordon: Yes, let me see Dale. Right away.
Klytus: Oh, dear. How pathetic. Yes, I anticipated that.
Ming's Floating Servant: Long live Flash! You've saved your Earth. Have a nice day.
Flash Gordon: [leaps into the air] Yeah!
Dale Arden: I'm a New York City girl. It's a little too quiet around here for me.
Klytus: Should we stop the torture?
The Emperor Ming: No.
Princess Aura: Father! Damn you, Father!
Prince Vultan: My thanks to you, Flash.
Flash Gordon: What for?
Prince Vultan: For giving an old bird a second chance!
The Emperor Ming: Every thousand years, I test each life system in the Universe. I visit it with mysteries, earthquakes, unpredicted eclipses, strange craters in the wilderness... If these are taken as natural, I judge that system ignorant and harmless - I spare it. But if the Hand of Ming is recognized in these events, I judge that system dangerous to us. I call upon the great god Dyzan, and for his greater glory...
[leans forward, smiling]
The Emperor Ming: ... and for our mutual pleasure...
[leans back again]
The Emperor Ming: ... I destroy it utterly.
Doctor Hans Zarkov: You're saying... it's my fault the Earth is being destroyed?
The Emperor Ming: [grinning] Precisely... Doctor!
Hedonia: It has no name. Many brave men died to bring it here from the Galaxy of Pleasure... It will make your nights with Ming more... agreeable.
Dale Arden: Will it make me forget?
Hedonia: No, but it will make you not mind remembering.
Prince Vultan: Onward my brave Hawkmen! Let this be known forever as Flash Gordon's Day!
Prince Barin: Listen! There is something finer in this galaxy than Ming's law!
Prince Vultan: RUBBISH!
[Munson refuses to go aboard Zarkov's rocket ship]
Dr. Hans Zarkov: I swear, Munson, I'll shoot!
Munson: Get shot or go up in that thing? What's the difference?
Dr. Hans Zarkov: This way, you'll be giving your life to save the Earth! Haven't you any spirit at all?
Munson: NO!
Prince Vultan: [incredulous] What is this?
Dr. Hans Zarkov: [proud] Humanity.
Prince Vultan: Madness!
Dale Arden: [dreamily] Oh, Flash!
Prince Barin: Klytus?
Klytus: Hmm?
Dale Arden: [trying to turn over hourglass] It won't turn over! It won't turn over!
Dr. Hans Zarkov: [to dead Munson] Sorry, Munson. Missed your opportunity.
Dr. Hans Zarkov: The red pedal!
Kala: Open fire! All weapons, now! Charge the lightning field! I take personal responsibility in the Emperor's name!
Klytus: No one, but no one dies in the palace without a command from the Emperor.
Ming's Floating Servant: Halt, Lizard Man! Escape is impossible! Surrender!
The Emperor Ming: I'd much rather see you on my side, than scattered into... atoms.
Dale Arden: Just hold me two seconds, then drop me so I can kiss the ground.
Prince Barin: Tell me more about this man Houdini.
[Hawkman Biro has been injured during the attack on war rocket Ajax]
Flash Gordon: Biro! You alright?
Biro: They just winged me!

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