An overworked mother and her daughter do not get along. When they switch bodies, each is forced to adapt to the other's life for one freaky Friday.

Anna (in Tess's body): Like cooking: I mean, have you never heard of takeout? And cleaning: let's don't and say we did. Quality time with your kids: You know what? Quit bugging 'em. Leave 'em alone. They like it!
Ryan: OK, where are we going next, Harry's school?
Anna (in Tess's body): Oh, he can walk from here.
Harry: It's 20 blocks!
Anna (in Tess's body): Fresh air will do you good.
Harry: But what about bullies?
Anna (in Tess's body): Run fast.
Dottie Robertson: Loved your book, I actually read this one.
Anna (in Tess's body): That makes one of us.
Anna (in Tess's body): I'm old!
Tess (in Anna's body): I beg your pardon!
Anna (in Tess's body): Oh, I'm like the Cryptkeeper!
Tess (in Anna's body): Honey. Look, I think something's happened to us.
Anna (in Tess's body): What are you?
Tess (in Anna's body): It's me, Mom.
Anna (in Tess's body): You're not my mother!
Tess (in Anna's body): Yes, I am.
Anna (in Tess's body): Get away, you clone freak!
Tess (in Anna's body): Don't you use that tone with me!
Anna (in Tess's body): Oh my God, you are my mother!
Jake: Yesterday was freaky.
Anna (in Tess's body): Are you mad?
Ryan: No.
Anna (in Tess's body): Do you, like, not want to get married now?
Ryan: No. No I don't. Not if you're gonna put me in this role.
Anna (in Tess's body): What role?
Ryan: The role of insensitive stepfather who couldn't care less, or thinks it's a stupid rock band, or any of the preposterous things you just said. How can you say I don't care? I'm not that guy, Tess, and if that's who you think I am, then this is never gonna work. When I fell in love with you, I knew you came with a history and a family, and I respect the hell out of that. You have always put the kids first. That's exactly how it should be, that's how I want it. I never pushed Anna, because I want her to like me on her own terms, in her own way.
Tess (in Anna's body): You pierced your navel?
Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, I... meant to talk to you about that.
Tess (in Anna's body): When did you do this?
Anna (in Tess's body): At Maddie's cousin's sweet 16.
Tess (in Anna's body): Well, when you get your body back, it's grounded.
Tess (in Anna's body): And what are you doing with this?
[grabs box of french fries]
Anna (in Tess's body): I'm eating.
Tess (in Anna's body): You cannot eat fast food.
Anna (in Tess's body): Why not?
Tess (in Anna's body): Because it will go down your throat and drop instantly to my thighs!
Tess: Hello, Dr. Coleman. Yes, Elizabeth. Yes, Elizabeth, I'll be at the appointment tomorrow. Ok, good. And Elizabeth, remember, you are a smart, strong, beautiful, independent woman and you don't need a man to complete you.
Butcher Woman: Thank you.
Tess: Goodbye.
Tess (in Anna's body): We'd like to speak to you about something that we think happened to us at your restaurant.
Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, something that SUCKS.
[first lines]
Tess: Honey, wake up.
Anna: No.
Tess: Anna. Greet the day.
Anna (in Tess's body): Darling. Could you, like, chill for a sec?
[Grandpa seeing Harry's underwear that was put over his head, thanks to Anna]
Grandpa: What is this, one of them thongs? I don't want to know.
Peg: Aren't you like the maid of horror or something?
Pei-Pei's Mom: Coo-kie?
Anna (in Tess's body): It's easy to be you. I'll just suck the fun out of everything.
Tess (in Anna's body): I do not suck the fun out of everything.
Anna (in Tess's body): Fun-sucker.
Tess (in Anna's body): I don't believe in physical contact with the opposite sex. At all. Ever. Nothing.
[Ryan has just let Anna go to the House Of Blues for the band audition]
Peg: Mr. Dude, you rock!
Anna (in Tess's body): 3 years ago we had a really bad thing happen we lost a father and a husband and I didn't think we'd ever get over it but then this guy next to me
[Ryan looks at Tess Proudly]
Anna (in Tess's body): came into the picture and everyone could see I was happy again I was singing in the shower again not well I may add but I was still worried about my kids Anna and Harry whether or not they would be able to accept a new man in their life and now I know how Anna feels
[Ryan looks over towards Anna]
Anna (in Tess's body): and what she feels is that...
[Tess starts to get emotional]
Anna (in Tess's body): No-one could ever take the place of her Dad
[Voice breaking]
Anna (in Tess's body): because he was a really great Dad but somebody could be part of a new family it's own kind of cool, new little unit and that for someone as special as Ryan that we would all just make a little room Anna really wanted her mom to know that.
[Tess mouths I love you]
Tess (in Anna's body): She is dead, worse than dead. She will spend the next year in a phoneless, dateless, Amish existence!
[after dropping "Anna" off at school]
Ryan: Okay, where are we going next? Harry's school?
Anna (in Tess's body): [smirking at Harry] Oh, he can walk from here.
Harry: It's twenty blocks!
Anna (in Tess's body): Fresh air will do you good.
Harry: But what about bullies?
Anna (in Tess's body): Run fast.
Anna: You're ruining my life!
[last lines]
Pei-Pei: Mama! What are you doing? Mama! Grandpa! Harry! No!
[tackles them, grabs cookies]
Pei-Pei: Okay!
Jake: You know, I've been thinking about that kiss.
Anna: [puzzled] Kiss?
[pulls herself together]
Anna: Remind me again how I did it.
Jake: In front of your mom?
Anna: It's okay. She owes me.
[They kiss]
Ryan: You know what, I'm not really a prying kind of guy, but just for the heck of it, I was wondering what you were doing on the eve of our wedding straddling some guy on the back of a big black Harley?
Anna (in Tess's body): Hello, it was a Ducati!
Pei-Pei: Sexy new look for you, Mrs. Coleman! You look hot!
Pei-Pei: [about her mother] Oh, she's crazy.
Pei-Pei's Mom: [subtitles] Like a fox.
Anna (in Tess's body): So, let's do this thingy.
Ryan: You mean our wedding rehearsal?
Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, whatever.
[Anna and Tess read the fortunes they received from Pei-Pei's mother]
Anna, Tess: A journey soon begins...
Tess: ...its prize reflected in the other's eyes.
Anna: When what you see is what you lack...
Anna, Tess: ...then selfless love will change you back.
Mr. Bates: [to a student] Mr. Waters, describe the character of Hamlet.
Mr. Waters: Hamlet. He's, uh... he's one of the big characters. I mean, he's Hamlet. He's just... bopping around... doesn't know which way's up. I don't think the guy's got a clue.
Mr. Bates: You mean to say that he is a man...
Mr. Waters: Yeah.
Mr. Bates: Who couldn't make up his... mind.
Mr. Waters: ...mind. Exactly.
Mr. Bates: Good. B.
Anna (in Tess's body): Root canal? That's not fair, they're not my teeth.
Ryan: What the hell just happened?
Tess: Trust me, you don't wanna know.
Anna (in Tess's body): Halibut? Eww! That's disgusting! What kind of caterer ARE you?
Anna (in Tess's body): Mom, maybe we should go to the emergency room.
Tess (in Anna's body): Oh no! All that will get us is a 72-hour lockdown in a psych ward and a Thorazine drip. No, we're not going anywhere.
Anna (in Tess's body): Let's just say this cute guy asks you out. What are you gonna do? WOOOH.
Anna (in Tess's body): You mean we're like stuck in this SUCKFEST?
Anna (in Tess's body): I can't marry Ryan. Eww.
Anna: You couldn't last one day in my high school.
Tess: Actually I could, and I would do it without getting a detention.
Tess (in Anna's body): Role-playing! Her idea. New therapeutic technique. Switching points of view.
Grandpa: If I switch with Harry, do I have to wear a thong?
Harry: [mocking Grandpa] Earthquake. Save me. Earthquake.
Harry: Get a room!
Tess (in Anna's body): I look like Stevie Nicks.
Anna (in Tess's body): Who's he?
Ryan: [hearing Anna scream because her door is gone] She saw it.
Grandpa: [gets up quick] I'm gonna check those Lakers.
Ryan: I'm with you...
Grandpa: [about Anna] Stop groveling, man. Let her come to YOU.
Ryan: She'd come with a hatchet.
Harry: [straws sticking out of his nose] Look I'm a walrus!
Anna (in Tess's body): So you're in my body, and I'm in your body. Why don't we, like...
Tess (in Anna's body): Yes, yes, I see what you're saying. A jolt! Okay, you go over there, and I go over here. Okay, when I say go. Ready? Go!
[they both bump heads and fall to the ground while Harry walks into the room]
[as he holds Tess's hand]
Ryan: One more day.
Anna (in Tess's body): Yeah, it's great we're getting married, isn't it? Even though my husband died. How quickly I've been able to get over it.
Jake: You know, it's just... Yesterday was freaky, and I mean, I see your mom... And I like her. I mean, not "like her" like her, but, you know, I mean... Like her as your mom. Listen, do you think we could just rewind this whole thing and start again?
Anna: [smiles] I'd like that.

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