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Follows the lives of six 20-something friends living in Manhattan.
[repeated line] Joey Tribbiani: How you doin'?
Rachel: See? Unisex. Joey: Maybe *you* need sex. I just had it a few days ago. Rachel: No, Joey, U-N-I-sex. Joey: I wouldn't say no to that.
[repeated line] Ross: We were on a break!
[Joey has packed an emergency kit with food, Mad-Libs and condoms] Chandler: Condoms? Joey: We don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world. Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
[Ross defends his fast eating habits to Rachel] Ross: I grew up in a house with Monica, okay. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat.
Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Janice: [repeated line throughout the series] Oh... my... God!
Phoebe: [Right after playing a song in the coffee shop ] If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Rachel: You know, Ben, I was your daddy's girlfriend. Ben: But you're not anymore. Because you were on a break.
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise. Chandler: Oh, my God. Monica: Chandler, in all my life I never thought I would be so lucky as to fall in love with my best, my best... [crying] Monica: There's a reason why girls don't do this. Chandler: Okay, okay I'll do it. I thought, wait I can do this, I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, that you make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me? Monica: Yes.
Joey: Rach, you gotta find out if he's in the same place you are. Otherwise, it's just a moo point. Rachel: A moo point? Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo. Rachel: Have I been living with him too long or did that all just make sense?
Chandler: I got her machine. Joey: Her answering machine? Chandler: No. Interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.
Chandler: I can handle this. "Handle" is my middle name. Actually, "handle" is the middle of my first name.
Ross: [frantically presses buttons on answering machine] Oh my God! Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane? Rachel: [from behind] I got off the plane.
[Re: "If you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick?"] Monica: Sex! Chandler: Seriously. Answer faster. Monica: I'm sorry, sweetie. When she said "sex" I wasn't thinking of sex with you. Chandler: It's like a big hug. Phoebe: Ross, how about you? Sex or food? Ross: Sex! Phoebe: What about sex or dinosaurs? Ross: My God, it's like Sophie's Choice. Phoebe: Joey, if you had to give up sex or food, which would you pick? Joey: I don't know it's too hard. Rachel: Come on, you have to answer. Joey: Okay... sex. No, food. No, uh... I want both! I want girls on bread!
[Rachel is upset about something] Phoebe: Aww Pheebs. Rachel: Honey, that's your name. Phoebe: Oh, Pheebs is short for Phoebe I thought that's just what we called each other.
[after hearing about Chandlers breakup with Janice] Phoebe: Where's Chandler? Joey: He's grieving. [We see Chandler running outside] Chandler: I'M FREE. I AM FREE.
Ross: First divorce: wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second divorce: said the wrong name at the altar, kind of my fault. Third divorce: they shouldn't let you get married when you're that drunk and have stuff drawn all over your face, Nevada's fault.
Ross: What are you doing tonight? Chandler: Why, do you have a lecture? Ross: No. Chandler: Free as a bird, what's up?
Rachel: I don't want my baby's first words to be "How You Doing"
[Joey just got ordained via the internet so that he could perform Monica and Chandler's wedding] Joey: Hey, I started working on what I'm going to say at the ceremony. Wanna hear it? Monica, Chandler: Yeah. Joey: We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share. [Monica and Chandler look impressed] Joey: It is a love based of giving and receiving as well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have... and receive. [later] Joey: Okay, you guys, I've got a little more written... are you ready? Chandler: Yeah, yeah. Okay. Joey: When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I cannot help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving... and then I can't think of a good word for right here. Monica: How bout receiving? Joey: Yes!
Monica: Rach, it's the Visa card people. Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want. Monica: [on the phone] Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? Yes, hold on. [to Rachel] Monica: Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account. Rachel: But I haven't used my card in weeks. Monica: That is the unusual activity.
Monica: I'm Rachel. I love Ross. I hate Ross. I love Ross. I hate Ross. Rachel: I'm Monica. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there.
Joey: I can't believe Ross is going out with Rachel's sister. Ya know, when Chandler made out with my sister, I was mad at him for, like, ten years. Chandler: That was five years ago. Joey: I know. You got five more years. Chandler: Joey... Joey: You want to make it six?
[Monica knocks] Chandler: You can't come in. Monica: Why not? Chandler: Because, uh, Ross is naked. Ross: What? Chandler: Well, I couldn't tell her *I* was naked. She's allowed to see me naked. Ross: Why does *anyone* have to be naked?
[Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are trapped in Monica's bedroom] Joey: I'm hungry. Phoebe: We could eat the wax. It's organic. Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it. Phoebe: No, not the used wax. Chandler: Because THAT would be crazy.
Joey: I'm Joey. I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films.
Monica: Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!
Joey: So, what, you just want to stay here and wait for Rachel to come back from her date? Ross: Yeah. I mean, this guy could be my baby's stepfather. Joey: They go out on one date and you worry about her marrying him? He's not you.
[Ross and Rachel are picking out names for their baby, and have each 5 vetoes] Ross: Curie. Rachel: Veto. Rain. Ross: Veto. Mark. Rachel: Veto. Vince. Ross: Veto. Lance. Rachel: Veto. James. Ross: Hmmm... Rachel: If it's a girl. Ross: Veto. Phoebe: Is it just me, or is Vito beginning to sound real good?
Joey: Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you. Less than a hundred steps from our place to here. Chandler: You've got waaaay too much free time.
Phoebe: Look, I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer. Monica: Phoebe, your mom killed herself. Phoebe: She was a drug dealer.
Phoebe: Ok, I got an idea. If it's a girl, Phoebe, naturally. And, if it's a boy... Phoebo. Ross: Uhh... Sure, but let's not limit ourselves to just one name. Rachel: Ok, I got one. If it's a girl... Sandrine. It's French. Ross: That's a great name... for an industrial solvent. Rachel: Ok, you got a better one? Ross: Yeah, check this out. If it's a boy - Darwin. Rachel: Yes, Ross, I do want a son who'll be regularly beaten in the schoolyard. Phoebe: By Sandrine.
[Chandler's roommate, Eddie has just accused him of sleeping with his ex girlfriend and killing his fish] Phoebe: Why would you kill his fish? Chandler: Because, Phoebe, sometimes after you sleep with someone you have to kill a fish.
Chandler: [to Ross] Three failed marriages, two illegitimate children... The personal ad writes itself.
Monica: Now come on, Chandler, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really? Chandler: They were just giving it away at the mall... [Monica stares] Chandler: ...in exchange for money.
[Ross and Rachel are trying to decide a name for their baby] Ross: OK, how about Ruth? Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry, are we having an 89 year old woman?
Phoebe: Chandler still thinks I'm pregnant and he hasn't asked me how I'm feeling or offered to carry my bags. I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him.
Chandler: We're getting a house. Monica: We're getting a baby. Chandler: We're growing up. Monica: We sure are. Chandler: So who's going to tell them? Monica: Not it. Chandler: Not it. Damn it!
Rachel: Can you take care of Emma just for today? Ross: Sure, just lend me your breasts and we'll be on our way.
Rachel: ...How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine? Dr Long: Three. Ross: Just three? I'm dilated three!
[Ross is trying to talk Rachel's boss into giving her her job back so she won't go to Paris; Mr. Zelner has a son who is also named Ross] Ross: Does little Ross like dinosaurs by any chance? Mr. Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why? Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. [Mr. Zelner looks shocked] Ross: I just heard it as you must have heard it and that's not good. Let me start again. I'm a paleontologist, you'll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones - fossils!
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers... it doesn't make much of a difference.
Chandler: Now, remember, Ben, keep your balance. Ben: Thanks, daddy. Ross: No, remember, Ben, two mommies, one daddy.
[Ross and Joey's first meeting] Ross: [glum] My wife's a lesbian. Joey: Cool. Chandler: Ross, this is Joey. Joey, Ross.
Monica: You don't like the game, because you suck at it. Chandler: I don't suck at it. It sucks. And you suck.
Phoebe: I'm going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything? Monica: I'll have a latte. Ross: I'll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf. Chandler: I'll have a bagel with a little... Phoebe: You know I was just being polite.
Monica: I think I'd be great in a war. I'd, like, get all the medals. Chandler: Before or after you're executed by your own troops?
Ross: [after trying to kiss his cousin] [thinking] Ross: Say something. Say anything. Nothing you say could make this situation worse. Oh my God, this is the longest that anyone has not spoken EVER. [actually speaking to his cousin] Ross: I haven't had sex in a very long time. [thinking again] Ross: Yeah you really shouldn't have said anything.
Ross: I love marriage. Phoebe: Seriously? You?... Divorce-O?
Janice: [Janice walks downstairs and finds Monica and Chandler looking at her house] What a small world! Chandler: ...And yet, I never run into Beyonce.
Joey: You think I need a new walk? Chandler: What? Joey: Well I've had the same walk since high school and you know how when a guy walks into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a 'take notice' walk. Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?