Singers Lorelei Lee and Dorothy Shaw travel to Paris, pursued by a private detective hired by the disapproving father of Lorelei's fiancé to keep an eye on her, as well as a rich, enamored old man and many other doting admirers.

Lorelei Lee: Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but my goodness, doesn't it help?
Esmond Sr.: Have you got the nerve to tell me you don't want to marry my son for his money?
Lorelei Lee: It's true.
Esmond Sr.: Then what do you want to marry him for?
Lorelei Lee: I want to marry him for YOUR money.
Lorelei Lee: There was an old man named Sidney... Who drank till he ruined a kidney. It shriveled and shrank, but he drank and he drank... He had his fun doing it, didn't he?
Dorothy Shaw: You know I think you're the only girl in the world who can stand on a stage with a spotlight in her eye and still see a diamond inside a man's pocket.
Dorothy Shaw: I like a man who can run faster than I can.
Mr. Esmond Sr.: Say, they told me you were stupid! You don't sound stupid to me!
Lorelei Lee: I can be smart when it's important.
[Dorothy is admiring some athletes]
Gus Esmond: Dorothy Shaw. I want you to remember you're supposed to be the chaperone on this trip.
Dorothy Shaw: Now lets get this straight, Gus. The chaperone's job is to see that nobody else has any fun. Nobody chaperone's the chaperone. That's why I'm so right for this job.
[Staring at Lorelei and Dorothy]
Evans: Say, suppose the ship hits an iceberg and sinks. Which one of them do you save from drowning?
William J. Stevens: Those girls couldn't drown.
Lady Beekman: You'll find I mean business!
Dorothy Shaw: Oh, really? Then why are you wearing that hat?
Lorelei Lee: Dorothy, please, a lady never admits her feet hurt.
Lorelei Lee: I always say a kiss on the hand might feel very good, but a diamond tiara lasts forever.
Olympic athlete: Hi. Remember me?
Lorelei Lee: Yes. You're one of the Olympic athletes.
Olympic athlete: I'm the only 4-letter man on the team.
Lorelei Lee: You should be ashamed to admit it. No, don't say another word. No, don't say another word.
Mr. Esmond Sr.: Are you out of your mind?
Ernie Malone: Mm-hmm, but I like it that way.
Lorelei Lee: Dorothy. Mr. Esmond and I are getting married.
Dorothy Shaw: To each other?
Gus Esmond: Of course to each other. Who else to?
Dorothy Shaw: Well, I don't know about you Gus, but I always figured Lorelei would end up with the Secretary of the Treasury.
[repeated line]
Lorelei Lee: Thank you ever so!
Dorothy Shaw: In bed by nine? That's when life just begins!
Dorothy Shaw: Remember, honey, on your wedding day it's All right to say "yes."
Lorelei Lee: Excuse me, but what is the way to Europe, France?
Dorothy Shaw: Honey, France is IN Europe.
Lorelei Lee: Well, who said it wasn't?
Dorothy Shaw: Well... you wouldn't say you wanted to go to North America, Mexico.
Lorelei Lee: If that's where I wanted to go, I would.
Dorothy Shaw: [to the Ticket Checker in exasperation] The dealer passes.
Dorothy Shaw: Honey, did it ever occur to you that some people just don't care about money?
Lorelei Lee: Please, we're talking serious here.
Dorothy Shaw: If we can't empty his pockets between us, then we're not worthy of the name Woman.
Lorelei Lee: I want you to find happiness and stop having fun.
Lorelei Lee: [sing] A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, / But diamonds are a girl's best friend. / A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental on your humble flat. / Or help you at the automat. / Men grow cold as girls grow old, and we all lose our charm in the end. / But square-cut or pear-shaped, these rocks won't lost their shape. / Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dorothy Shaw: Listen, either you hock some of that stuff or get the price of a diamond tiara out of him.
Lorelei Lee: How much do you think a diamond tiara will cost?
Dorothy Shaw: Fifteen thousand at least.
Lorelei Lee: [Concentrates] Let's see, that'll take an hour and 45 minutes.
Lorelei Lee: [Lorelei is holding a tiara] How do you put it around your neck?
Dorothy Shaw: You don't, honey, it goes on your head!
Lorelei Lee: You must think I was born yesterday.
Dorothy Shaw: Well, sometimes there's just no other possible explanation.
Lorelei Lee: If you've nothing more to say, then pray, scat!
Dorothy Shaw: For instance, who's the young man who just tried to steal second base?
Ernie Malone: Name is Malone.
Dorothy Shaw: I'm Dorothy, well Mr. Malone...
Ernie Malone: You're the most attractive girl in the room so I came over to tell you, do you mind?
Dorothy Shaw: No, I might as well warn you, flattery will get you anywhere.
Ernie Malone: In that case we haven't got any problems.
Lorelei Lee: I've been wondering, what is your line, Mr. Malone?
Ernie Malone: My line? My most effective one is to tell a girl she has hair like a tortured midnight, lips like a red couch in an ivory palace that I'm lonely and starved for affection. Then, I generally burst into tears. It seldom works.
Lady Beekman: You might be interested in my tiara. I always carry it with me. Afraid to leave it in the stateroom.
Dorothy Shaw: And you're not afraid to show it to Lorelei?
Gus Esmond: [as she tries on the diamond ring he's just given her] Is it the right size?
Lorelei Lee: Well, it can never be too big. Do you think that's too small, Dorothy?
Dorothy Shaw: [whistles] Looks like it oughta have a highball around it.
Ernie Malone: [complaining to the steward as he's lead from the girls' room after their "dinner party"] It's just not fair. Two against one. Take a man's pants.
Lorelei Lee: [singing] We're just two little girls from Little Rock.
Henry Spofford III: Hey, look someone's coming.
Lorelei Lee: Oh dear, what'll I do?
Henry Spofford III: Quick! Hold this around your neck tight!
Dorothy Shaw: [singing] Bye bye baby. Remember you're my baby when they give you the eye.
Dorothy Shaw: [singing] I like a beautiful hunk of man. But I'm no physical culture fan. Ain't there anyone here for love?
Henry Spofford III: Hello.
Lorelei Lee: Oh, Mr Spoffard. Would you please give me a hand? I'm sort of stuck!
Henry Spofford III: Are you a burglar?
Lorelei Lee: Heaven's no! The steward locked me in. I was waiting for a friend.
Henry Spofford III: Why didn't you ring for him?
Lorelei Lee: I didn't think of it. Isn't that silly?
Henry Spofford III: If you were a burglar, and I helped you escape...
Lorelei Lee: Please help me before somebody comes along.
Henry Spofford III: I'm thinking.
Dorothy Shaw: [singing] When love goes wrong, nothing goes right. This one thing, I know.
Lorelei Lee: [singing] When love goes wrong, a man take flight.
Dorothy Shaw: [singing] And women get uppity-oh.
[Lorelei is stuck going through the porthole]
Henry Spofford III: All right. I'll help you. I'll help you for two reasons.
Lorelei Lee: Never mind the reasons. Just help me.
Henry Spofford III: The first reason is I'm too young to be sent to jail. The second reason is you got a lot of animal magnetism.
Ernie Malone: What are you girls made of? What was that?
Lorelei Lee: Just equal parts of scotch, vodka, brandy, and gin.
Lady Beekman: It's a tiara.
Lorelei Lee: You DO wear it on your head. I just LOVE finding new places to wear diamonds.
Gus Esmond: [trying to have a serious talk with Lorelei, but she is bouncing up and down on the bed] Dear... dear... dear, stop that! It's most distracting.

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