When millionaire James King is jailed for fraud and bound for San Quentin, he turns to Darnell Lewis to prep him to go behind bars.

Darnell Lewis: When life throws you Dick you make Dick-ade!
James King: Dick-ade doesn't sound like a significant improvement over dick.
Darnell Lewis: Let's see your mad dog face!
[King bursts into tears]
Darnell Lewis: What are you doing, James?
James King: Sad Dog. I think that's a strategy that could work, don't sexually harass me I'm already sad...
[from trailer]
Darnell Lewis: We do this, we do this hard!
James King: I can get hard!
[from trailer]
Rita Lewis: What reason did you give to him, to assume you went to jail?
Darnell Lewis: I was being black!
Rita Lewis: You're not exactly a thug, Darnell!
Darnell Lewis: All I got to do is talk a little deeper. "Hey, bitch, don't walk away from me!"
Rita Lewis: [slaps Darnell] What the hell did you just say to me? What is wrong with you?
Darnell Lewis: [crying] Stop, stop! What is that?
James King: My life is ruined, because after thirty days I'm going to prison!... It's not as bad as I've heard, is it?
Darnell Lewis: Hell yeah, it's bad!
James King: Teach me how to survive in prison, the way you did!
Darnell Lewis: [amazed] Tell me how you know I went to prison?
James King: Given your low economic status, your perceived lack of college education... statistically, you definitely went to prison!
[pause]
Darnell Lewis: See you tomorrow, convict.
[prison yard training]
Darnell Lewis: Go back to where you belong!
James King: I don't know where I belong!
Darnell Lewis: I know where you belong... you belong with me!
[smiles at King]
James King: [freaked out] I don't want that!
[from trailer]
Darnell Lewis: This ain't no longer your house, man! We in San Quentin now!
[stands naked in his garden]
James King: [sees his gardener staring at him] Buenos diaz, Cecil!
Darnell Lewis: You know what? I got something to say to you all since I'm guessing this is the first time you've been forced to listen to a black man. You know maybe you guys should just calm the fuck down. Black people ain't tryin' to hurt you. I mean technically I am right now but that's only because of what you were trying to do to the white guy. Think about that. Google "I Have A Dream" assholes.
Darnell Lewis: When you was at Harvard, did you ever get raped for failing a test?
James King: I think that's more of a Yale thing.
Martin: I built this company with my two own hands. Just me, that computer and an eight million dollar loan from my father.
James King: You really did it all on your own.
James King: My real father never had time for me. He shipped me off to boarding school in London with the Murdochs and the Bin Ladens. Of course, that was before. I mean, we knew they cheated in soccer, but had no idea...

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