A romantic comedy centered on a guy and a gal who try to keep their love alive as they shuttle back and forth between New York and San Francisco to see one another.

Dan: When I suck my dick, I lie on my back, I throw my legs over my head.
Box: You suck your own dick?
Dan: Yeah.
Box: You cut your own hair and you suck your own dick. You're like a Swiss army knife.
Box: Now, look, I have done the long distance thing. And it is hard. As hell. And it doesn't matter how good the relationship is, it literally can just rip it apart. Look, it is just very hard to be away from the person you love for months at a time.
Garrett: I know. I know it's not gonna be easy.
Box: That's all I'm sayin'.
Dan: But maybe YOU never found the right girl.
Garrett: That's not a bad point.
Erin: Suck my dick!
Damon: She doesn't have a dick.
Erin: Yes I do! And you can put your mouth on my penis!
[first lines]
Garrett: So...
Amy: So...
Garrett: Happy Birthday
Amy: Oh. Thank you for the take-out.
Garrett: Sure. It's the least I could do. It is your birthday after all.
Dan: Now what is the story, though, with you guys? Are you doing it, like, monogamous or what's the deal?
Garrett: Yeah. I don't know. Uh... Maybe, yeah.
Box: "Maybe"? Wow, okay. You know what "maybe" gets you? It gets her sucking every dude's dick out there at Stanford. It really does. And then you go out there and you visit her. And then you have to kiss that blowjob factory she calls a mouth.
Garrett: Thank you for that visual. Thanks, pal.
Dan: That was, like, way graphic. That was, like, extremely graphic.
Box: If you're so worried about your appearance, are you gonna do something about your veiny, white skin? Because right now you look like an actor in a kabuki troupe.
Corinne: He's thousands of miles away from here. You don't know what he's doing right now. He could be in some bar, doing shots with some sexy bartender dry humping her.
Erin: We haven't set the boundaries yet. Okay?
Corinne: Oh, my God.
Erin: We're not trying to choke each other with commitment. But now you're fucking freaking me out and I can't do anything but picture him humping some fucking bartender. Thank you.
Corinne: I'm your sister. This is what I'm here to do: terrify you.
Brandy: Where are you going?
Erin: I'm 31. I'm an intern. I'm going to get wasted.

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