A scatterbrained socialite hires a vagrant as a family butler...but there's more to Godfrey than meets the eye.

Godfrey: May I be frank?
Molly: Is that your name?
Godfrey: No, my name is Godfrey.
Molly: All right, be frank.
Irene: Godfrey loves me! He put me in the shower!
Godfrey: The only difference between a derelict and a man is a job.
Irene: You have a wonderful sense of humor. I wish I had a sense of humor, but I can never think of the right thing to say until everybody's gone home.
Detective: Just a minute, sister!
Molly: If I thought that were true, I'd disown my parents.
Detective: [chuckles] So you got a passion for jewelry, huh?
Molly: Yes... I got a passion for socking cops.
Detective: Where are they?
Molly: Most of them are in cemeteries.
Godfrey: Do you think you could follow an intelligent conversation for a minute?
Irene: I'll try.
Alexander Bullock: All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people.
Godfrey: Prosperity is just around the corner.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah, it's been there a long time. I wish I knew which corner.
[last lines]
[Irene is getting ready to marry a surprised Godfrey]
Irene: Stand still, Godfrey. It'll all be over in a minute.
Alexander Bullock: Life in this family is one subpoena after another.
Irene: Godfrey's gonna be our butler.
Angelica Bullock: He's gonna be who's butler?
Irene: He's gonna work for us.
Angelica Bullock: Oh, that's ridiculous. You don't know anything about him. He hasn't any recommendations...
Irene: Well, the last one had recommendations and stole all the silver.
Angelica Bullock: Well, that was merely a coincidence.
Godfrey: People who take in stray cats say they make the best pets, madam.
Angelica Bullock: I don't see what cats have got to do with butlers.
Blake: Take a look at the dizzy old gal with the goat.
Alexander Bullock: I've had to look at her for 20 years - that's MRS. Bullock!
Blake: I'm terribly sorry!
Alexander Bullock: How do you think I feel?
Angelica Bullock: You mustn't come between Irene and Godfrey. He's the first thing she's shown any affection for since her pomeranian died last summer.
Godfrey: Tommy, there's a very peculiar mental process called thinking - you wouldn't know much about that - but when I was living here I did a lot of it.
Cornelia Bullock: So Little Red Riding Hood didn't have enough feminine charm to trap a wolf her own age, so she falls in love with a butler and lives happily ever after on an ash pile. If you know what I mean.
Irene: I know what you mean, if you know what *I* mean.
Carlo: [entering the room] May I come in?
Cornelia Bullock: You're in, aren't you?
Carlo: Very interesting book. The Greeks of the Middle Ages.
Cornelia Bullock: Oh, Irene would like that. You love the middle ages, don't you, dear?
Cornelia Bullock: Will you do me a big favor?
Faithful George: Who do you want killed?
Cornelia Bullock: I'll do my own killing.
[Molly - the maid - brings drinks in to the living room where the police are questioning the family about the pearls]
Detective: Who are you?
Molly: Guess.
Godfrey: That's most of your stock. I knew it had been dumped on the market, so I sold short.
Angelica Bullock: I don't understand. You sold short. You mean gentlemen's underwear?
Angelica Bullock: If you're going to be rude to my daughter, you might as well at least take your hat off!
Detective: [notices Carlo by the french doors] Who's that?
Irene: It's mother's protegé.
Detective: No wisecracks. Is that your son?
Alexander Bullock: That? Say, listen. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I'll be hanged if I'll plead guilty to that!
Guthrie: Are you wanted by the police?
Godfrey: That's just the trouble. Nobody wants me.
Irene: I went to Venice, and one night I went for a ride in one of those rowboats that the man pushes with a stick. Not a matador. That was in Spain. But something like a matador.
Godfrey: Do you, by any chance, mean a gondolier?
Irene: That was the name of the boat!
Cornelia Bullock: You can't go on like this forever. You really like me and you're afraid to admit it, aren't you?
Godfrey: You want me to tell you what I REALLY think of you?
Cornelia Bullock: Please do.
Godfrey: As Smith or as a butler?
Cornelia Bullock: Choose your own weapon.
Godfrey: You won't hold it against me?
Cornelia Bullock: It's your day off.
Godfrey: Very well. You belong to that unfortunate category that I would call the "Park Avenue brat". A spoiled child who's grown up in ease and luxury... who's always had her own way... and who's misdirected energies are so childish that they hardly deserve the comment, even of a butler on his off Thursday.
Cornelia Bullock: [hurt and angry] Thank you for a very lovely portrait.
Godfrey: Why can't you let me alone?
Irene: Because you're my responsibility and someone has to take care of you.
Godfrey: I can take care of myself.
Irene: You can't look me in the eye and say that. You love me and you know it. You know, there's no sense in struggling against a thing when it's got you. It's got you and that's all there is to it - it's got you!
[Irene poses dramatically]
Cornelia Bullock: Oh, I remember that pose so well. I learned it in Dramatics School. It's Number 8 isn't it?
Faithful George: Yep, that's Number 8 all right.
Cornelia Bullock: Am I spoiling your act, dear?
Irene: [under her breath to Cornelia] I'll spoil something of yours someday and it won't be your act!
[at the city dump]
Irene: Could you tell me why you live in a place like this when there's so many other nice places?
Godfrey: You really want to know?
Irene: Oh, I'm very curious.
Godfrey: It's because my real estate agent felt that the altitude would be very good for my asthma.
Angelica Bullock: Oh, Alexander, you missed all the excitement.
Alexander Bullock: What's going on?
Angelica Bullock: Oh, let me see. I knew what it was I wanted to say, but somehow it slipped my mind.
Alexander Bullock: What's the matter with Irene?
Angelica Bullock: Oh, yes, that's it. Irene's got herself engaged!
Alexander Bullock: To whom?
Angelica Bullock: Oh, I don't know, Van something-or-other. I think he's the boy with his arm around that girl in pink. He's got lots of money.
Alexander Bullock: Well, he'll need it.
Irene: I'm terribly grateful. This is the first time I've ever beaten Cornelia at anything and you helped me do it.
Godfrey: Well, that makes me a sort of Cornelia beater doesn't it?
Molly: Mr. Bullock, there's a hansom cab driver waiting to see you in the kitchen.
Alexander Bullock: What's he want?
Molly: He wants $50 and his horse.
Alexander Bullock: What horse?
Molly: The one Miss Irene rode up the front steps last night.
Alexander Bullock: Where is his horse? I haven't got it!
Molly: It's in the library, where Miss Irene left it.
Irene: Life is but an empty bubble.
Alexander Bullock: We've got to come to an understanding right now: either Carlo is or I am.
Angelica Bullock: Am what?
Alexander Bullock: Well, one of us has got to and that's all there is to it.
Godfrey: Do you mind telling me just what a scavenger hunt is?
Irene: Well, a scavenger hunt is exactly like a treasure hunt, except in a treasure hunt you try to find something you want, and in a scavenger hunt you try to find something that nobody wants.
Godfrey: Hmm, like a forgotten man?
Irene: That's right, and the one who wins gets a prize, only there really isn't a prize. It's just the honor of winning, because all the money goes to charity, that is, if there is any money left over, but there never is.
Godfrey: Well, that clears the whole matter up beautifully.
Irene: Can you butle?
Godfrey: Butle?
Irene: Yes, we're fresh out of butlers. The one we had left this morning.
Godfrey: These flowers just came for you, miss. Where shall I put them?
Irene: What difference does it make where one puts flowers when one's heart is breaking?
Godfrey: Yes, miss. Shall I put them on the piano?
Godfrey: Does the butler have quarters here in the house, or is that necessary?
Molly: Oh, you won't need any quarters. Just hang your hat near the door so you can get it quickly on the way out.
Alexander Bullock: [to Carlo] Why don't you stop imitating a gorilla and start imitating a man?
[Repeated line, whenever Carlo plays the piano and sings]
Carlo: Ochi Chornya... Ochi Chornya... Ochi Chornya!
Irene: [visiting Godfrey's restaurant built on top of the old dump] Oh my, how you've fixed this place up, Godfrey! It's much nicer than when I was here before!
Godfrey: Oh, you've noticed that, huh?
Irene: Are the forgotten men having a party?
Godfrey: It's their annual reunion.
Irene: I saw the mayor out there. Is he one of them, too?
Godfrey: He's the guest of honor.
Irene: Oh, it's a lovely view - the view of the bridge. Is it always there?
Godfrey: Most always.
Irene: Oh, you have a kitchen! I'm gonna like this place very much.
Alexander Bullock: I've just been going over last month's bills, and I find that you people have confused me with the Treasury Department.
Cornelia Bullock: Oh, don't start that again, Dad.
Alexander Bullock: I don't mind giving the government 60% of what I make. But I can't do it when my family spends 50%!
Irene: Well, why should the government get more money than your own family?
Angelica Bullock: My ancestors came over on the boat. Oh, not the Mayflower, but the boat after that. What did your ancestors come over on, Godfrey?
Godfrey: As far as I know, they've always been here.
Angelica Bullock: They weren't Indians, I hope.
Godfrey: One can never be sure of one's ancestors.
Angelica Bullock: You know, you have rather high cheek bones...
Angelica Bullock: What happened, what did you say to Carlo?
Alexander Bullock: I said goodbye.
Angelica Bullock: Did he go?
Alexander Bullock: Yes he left very hurriedly through the side window
Godfrey: Hasn't anyone ever told you about certain proprieties?
Irene: You use such lovely big words. I like big words. What does it mean?
Godfrey: Well, I'll try to simplify it. Hasn't your mother or anyone ever explained to you that some things are proper and some things are not?
Irene: No she hasn't. She rambles on quite a bit, but then she never has anything to say.
Irene: [about Godfrey] He's my protegé.
Carlo: Oh! Money, money, money! The Frankenstein monster that destroys souls!
Cornelia Bullock: My life is precious to me.
Irene: It won't be in a minute!
Godfrey: But you want me to remain, don't you?
Irene: Oh, of course!
Godfrey: And I want to justify your faith in me by being a very good butler, and filling the void created by your late, lamented Pomeranian.
Irene: Oh, I've forgotten all about him. He had fleas, anyway. Besides, you're different. You use big words, and you're much cuter.
Cornelia Bullock: Little Red Riding Hood didn't have enough charm to trap a wolf of her own age, so she falls in love with the butler and lives happily ever after on an ashpile, if you know what I mean.
Irene: I know, if you know what I mean.

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