In 1850 Oregon, when a backwoodsman brings a wife home to his farm, his six brothers decide that they want to get married too.

Ruth Jebson: [Caleb is helping her bring food to the table] If you'll just follow me.
Caleb: To the ends of the earth.
Caleb: There were no F names in the Bible so Ma named him Frankincense because he smelled so sweet.
Adam: What do you call her?
Milly: I was thinking of some name like Hannah or Hagar or Hephzibah, picking up where your mother left off.
Adam: Hannah.
Milly: Hannah.
Adam: I got to thinking up at the cabin, about the baby. How I'd feel if someone came creeping in and carried her off. I'd string him up the nearest tree. I'd shoot him down as I would a thieving fox.
Dorcas: Which of the boys slept in this bed, do you think?
Liza: Dorcas Galen!
Dorcas: What's the matter? Haven't you ever thought of it? That you're sleeping in one of *their* beds?
Adam: Morning ma'am.
Lem's girlfriend: Morning backwoodsman.
Adam: Nice day for marrying.
Lem: Well, that's a right good idea.
Lem's girlfriend: Oh Lem, I thought you'd never ask me.
Gideon: Adam, you're my eldest brother. Now I've always looked up to ya, tried to ape ya. But today I'm ashamed of you. Now I know you can lick me, lick the tar outta me! But I wouldn't hold myself no kinda man unless I showed ya how I felt!
[punches him]
Adam: Why you...!
[throws him on horse, hands him reigns]
Adam: Now, GIT!
[slaps horse]
Adam: Love is like the measles. You only get it once, and the older you are, the harder you take it.
Milly: Good morning my brothers. If you're looking for your outside clothes they're hanging up drying on the line. I came in before and got them. I couldn't get your inside clothes so I'll take them now.
Benjamin Pontipee: Our underwear?
Milly: You're winter underwear that you're sleeping in. You might as well hand it over because you're not gonna get your clothes or food or nothing til you get all cleaned up and shaved.
Benjamin Pontipee: Where's Adam? We wanna talk to Adam.
Milly: He's out plowing, he had his breakfast over a half an hour ago. I got hot muffins waiting, crisp bacon, steak, fryer potatoes, fresh ground coffee. Now do I get that winter underwear or do I have to come in there and take it off of you?
Benjamin Pontipee: Don't listen to her. She wouldn't dare.
Milly: Oh wouldn't I?
Milly: Somehow it just don't seem fitting for a man to spend his wedding night in a tree.
Gideon: [after Millie gives birth] I'm an uncle!
[faints]
Gideon: [Milly's new baby crys] I'm an uncle!
[faints]
Milly: Raise your hat. What's the matter, Caleb?
Caleb: My hair ain't combed.
Adam: Smells good enough to eat.
Milly: Tastes good too, so they tell me.
Adam: Got any ketchup handy?
Milly: My stew can stand on its own feet.
Milly: Say something nice, Gideon.
Gideon: Nice night for a coon hunt.
Alice Elcott: [concerning Milly's marriage to Adam] Oh, I think it's wonderful; love at first sight.
Mrs. Elcott: Alice! What kind of talk is that!
Milly: Well, it wouldn't hurt you to learn some manners, too.
Adam: What do I need manners for? I already got me a wife.
Adam: [on his wedding night] 9 o'clock an hour past your bedtime.
Frank: Yours too.
Milly: Don't just stand there, do something!
Frank: What for? There's only three little ones!
Mrs. Fred Bixby: My window!
Caleb: Can't make no vows to a herd of cows.
Rev. Elcott: [after rounding up the girls] Now we're all fathers and we love you, so don't be afraid to answer. A ways back I heard a wee babe crying in the house. Whose is it?
[girls look at one another]
Rev. Elcott: Whose is it, don't be afraid to tell?
Girls: [all at once and smiling] Mine!
Rev. Elcott: Sounds like Pansy has the croup.
Milly: Which one is Ephraim and which is Daniel?
Ephraim Pontipee, Daniel Pontipee: Me.
Milly: Y'all live around here?
Caleb: Not round, here.
Sam: When are you gonna marry me Milly?
Milly: Oh, next week Sam.
Tom: She's gonna marry me, ain't you Milly?
Milly: What would your wife say Tom?
Benjamin Pontipee: [after Dorcas hits him with a snowball] Snowballs with rocks in them! Them poor little dears! Sobbin' buckets o' tears!
Adam: This is my brother Caleb.
Milly: How are you brother Caleb?
Adam: This is Milly, my wife.
Caleb: Your wife? Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! Hey Dan, he did it, he got married!
Gideon: I guess I got the beginnings.
Benjamin Pontipee: This isn't exactly how we planned on spending the night: in a barn!
Mrs. Fred Bixby: [to Adam] Let me tell you something, no woman is gonna go to bear country with you to cook and wash and slave for seven slumachy back woodsmen.
Benjamin Pontipee: Come back, Dorcas, don't get hurt!
Milly: [after the barn fight] Frank?
Frank: Kick in the pants.
Liza: Doesn't it do anything but snow up here? We've had a blizzard every day for the past two months. I'm going crazy, shut up in this house!
Adam: [to Gideon] What's the matter with you? Someone butt you in the bread basket?
Adam: [singing to Gideon about being in love] How can you tell what's in its spell? How can you tell unless you've tried it? Wait for that kiss you're certain of. And let your heart decide when you're in love.
Adam: You're beating your head against a stone wall, Milly. You'll never make jackadandies out of them!
Gideon: [attempting to get into the house to see the girls] I got me a stiff neck.
Dorcas: I've always wanted to be a June Bride... and have a baby right off, in the spring maybe.
Ephraim Pontipee: [to two women on the street] Care for a chaw of tobaccy?
Milly: Don't you like girls?
Gideon: We ain't never hardly ever seen one.

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