New York City police detective John Shaft (nephew of the original 1970s detective) goes on a personal mission to make sure the son of a real estate tycoon is brought to justice after a racially-motivated murder.

John Shaft: You know me. It's my duty to please that booty!
Sergeant Tom Hannon: Hey, where the hell are you going, Shaft?
John Shaft: To get laid, where the hell are you going?
Theme: Who's the black private dick / That's a sex machine to all the chicks? / SHAFT! / Ya damn right!
Theme: Who is the man that would risk his neck / For his brother man? / SHAFT! / Can you dig it?
Theme: Who's the cat that won't cop out / When there's danger all about? / SHAFT! / Right On!
Theme: They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother... / SHUT YOUR MOUTH! / I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft. / THEN WE CAN DIG IT!
Peoples Hernandez: You play golf?
[Walter Wade Jr. nods]
Peoples Hernandez: Golf is phat... Tiger Wooo, Tiger Wooo, I like him.
Peoples Hernandez: This is Egyptian Cotton, motherfucker... two-twenty thread. That's like half your shitty-ass paycheck, okay?
John Shaft: You wouldn't know Egyptian cotton if the Pharaoh himself sent it to you, you knockoff-wearing motherfucker!
[Trey starts seizing on the gurney]
Walter Wade, Jr.: Homeboy's got rhythm, huh?
John Shaft: What?
[Shaft punches Wade in the face]
Walter Wade, Jr.: What? Was it something I said? I think my nose is broke!
Lt. Kearney: I've been waiting for this. You are gone from this precinct!
John Shaft: For what?
John Shaft: [punches Wade again] For that?
[last lines]
John Shaft: [on telephone] Vic, your case just busted wide open.
Vic Androzzi: So close it for me.
John Shaft: Cut the crap man, this is Shaft. Looks like you gonna have to close it yo'self, *shitty*!
[cackles maniacally]
Walter Wade, Jr.: Do you know who my father is?
John Shaft: No, do you?
John Shaft: Who lost your rap sheet for you?
Big Raymond: You...
John Shaft: Who got you that Jets tryout?
Big Raymond: You...
John Shaft: Who got you that gig at the club?
Big Raymond: You.
John Shaft: Who delivers ten times outta ten?
Big Raymond: Alright, dawg... You.
Peoples Hernandez: You're not a cop anymore.
John Shaft: Do you think that makes me less dangerous, or more dangerous?
John Shaft: Yo, Luger, what's up with the "cornbread" talk, man?
Luger: And your problem is what?
John Shaft: Nazis with badges, that's my problem!
Luger: [laughs] "Nazis?" You gotta lighten up, Shaft. I talk like this all the time... but I see your point. Maybe I should take an "ethnic sensitivity" workshop, huh? Fuck you!
John Shaft: Maybe I should "workshop" my foot up your ass!
Shaft: Sorry, I can't make it.
Ellie Moore: You got problems, baby?
Shaft: Heh. Yeah, I got a couple of 'em. I was born black... and I was born poor.
Bumpy Jonas: [answering his phone] Wrong Number.
John Shaft: Don't bull me, man. I got the right number. This is Shaft.
Bumpy Jonas: How'd the hell you get this number?
John Shaft: Off a bathroom wall in the god damn subway!
John Shaft: I know cats who'd take out whole zipcodes for that kind of cheese.
[Walter Wade Jr. walks into Peoples' house, trying to look cool]
Peoples Hernandez: You tryin' to blend in or something? You look like a fucking duck hunter.
John Shaft: Warms my black heart to see you so concerned about us minority folks.
Vic Androzzi: Oh come on Shaft, what is it with this black shit, huh?
[Vic holds a black pen up to Shaft's face]
Vic Androzzi: You ain't so black.
John Shaft: [Holds a white coffee cup next to Vic's face] And you ain't so white either baby.
Peoples Hernandez: My name is Peoples. You know why they call me that?
Walter Wade, Jr.: [In a patronizing tone] 'Cuz you's always takes care of you's peoples?
Peoples Hernandez: More or less.
Peoples Hernandez: [In jail] What you in here for, man? Income tax evasion?
Willy: Listen, Snow White. Me and you gonna tangle, sooner or later. Did you hear what I say?
John Shaft: Why don't you stop playing with yourself, Willy? You ain't gonna do SHIT!
[Inside Rasaan's apartment]
John Shaft: Man, this is some repugnant shit.
Uncle John Shaft: You're too hot, man. You gotta step off a bit.
John Shaft: Don't let your mouth get your ass in trouble.
Mafia contact: I'm lookin' for a nigger named John Shaft.
John Shaft: Just found him... wop.
John Shaft: I'm gonna fuck you up for making me run!
Willy: Got to see if you're clean before you can see the Man.
John Shaft: [laugh] Better get yourself six more helpers then, Willy.
Willy: That's how it's done.
John Shaft: Who searches you?
Willy: Nobody.
John Shaft: Then get the same cat to search us.
Willy: That's some cold shit, throwing my man Leroy out the window. Just picked my man up and threw him out the Goddamn window.
Peoples Hernandez: Stick to what I know? Stick to what I know? I'm a star. Yo soy el mayembe!
[first lines]
John Shaft: [holding up his middle finger to a cab driver who is honking his horn at him] Up yours! Get out the way!
John Shaft: I thought the money didn't matter to you. Just getting your baby back.
Bumpy Jonas: Money ALWAYS matters...
Vic Androzzi: What'cha got?
John Shaft: I got laid.
Vic Androzzi: Have a chair, John.
Shaft: I don't like your chair.
John Shaft: You are one wise Caucasian, Vic.
Shaft: I got to feeling like a machine, and that's no way to feel.
Shaft: Up yours, baby.
Ellie Moore: I love you.
John Shaft: Yeah, I know. Take it easy.
John Shaft: When you lead your revolution, whitey better be standing still because you don't run worth a damn no more.
John Shaft: You're a cagey spook, Bumpy.
Bumpy Jonas: You ride a tall horse, Mr Shaft.
Vic Androzzi: Call me when you get home.
Shaft: I will.
Vic Androzzi: [leaves, motions as if to close the door, and then... ] Close it yourself, shitty.
[cackles]
John Shaft: [passing Carmen on his way toward gang members] Anybody lookin' to maintain their employment with the NYPD
[draws his gun]
John Shaft: might be in their best interest to leave now...
Bumpy Jonas: Wrong number.
John Shaft: Cut the crap, man, this is Shaft.
Peoples Hernandez: Yo Shaft, I'm gonna put so many lawyers in your ass, you're gonna think they opened a branch office up there.
John Shaft: Hey, baby. Please close the door, huh?
Woman from Bar: Hey, close it yourself, shitty.
John Shaft: I see you someplace I don't think you belong... I will kill you.
John Shaft: Watch your mouth, man.
Ben Buford: I'll say any damn thing I want.
Bumpy Jonas: When will I hear from you?
John Shaft: When I got something to say.
John Shaft: This is Detective Vasquez. She's...
Carmen Vasquez: She's unavailable at the moment.
Peoples Hernandez: Puta, why you flinch?
Bumpy Jonas: [answering his phone] Wrong Number.
John Shaft: It's Giuliani time!
Walter Wade, Jr.: I need someone located
Peoples Hernandez: "Located"? You mean found? Found then what?
[Walter looks at the gun around Tattoo's belt]
Peoples Hernandez: that's going to cost you
Walter Wade, Jr.: [Takes out a money belt filled with jewelry] I had it all appraised it'll cash out to about forty thousand
Peoples Hernandez: [Telling Roselli and Groves about Walter Wade, Jr] This guy comes in here and his got his drawer stuffed with jewelry and he asked me if I could locate somebody? I say "yeah" because he's kind of like a celebrity but finding people is not my thing so here's what I propose: so why don't I sell contract to you? The guy says this shit will cash out to twenty grand I take half and you'll take half, it'll be the easiest money you can ever make
Walter Wade, Jr.: [Showing him his black eye] I got fucking mugged I have no money
Peoples Hernandez: I hear you but the wheels are already in motion
Peoples Hernandez: I guess you've got to earn it back
Walter Wade, Jr.: How?
Peoples Hernandez: [Fat Man hands him a bag filled with drugs] Ounces are a thousand eight balls are two eighty its already bagged and I'll tell you like I tell all my boys you cut it anymore than it already is you can say goodbye to repeat customers
Walter Wade, Jr.: You've got to be shitting me
Peoples Hernandez: You keep coming back we should be even Steven in six eight months
John Shaft: I get 50 bucks an hour... plus expenses.
Luger: [to Shaft] Why don't you pick a color? Black or blue?
Carmen Vasquez: [to Luger] Hey, fuck you
John Shaft: [to Luger] How about I make you both?
Peoples Hernandez: When I say "me", "me ", is this
[Opens the door to a room showing him half naked women packaging drugs]
Walter Wade, Jr.: Oh
Peoples Hernandez: I was you to front for me, get me some upscale customers
Walter Wade, Jr.: If it's really important to you, you can tell everybody you've got a rich white boy on a rope I really don't care, I think you're too much of your own product, but drugs?, no fucking way
John Shaft: April Fool, motherfucker. Told you not to make me run!
Luger: [after robbing Walter in disguise] How'd I sound?
John Shaft: How did you sound?
Luger: "Freeze mofo I'll bust a cap in your dome"
John Shaft: You are a pure notorious P.I.G, how much we got?
Luger: [looking through the bag] forty two thousand , it's a lot of cash for a simple murder around here
Peoples Hernandez: You got a boat?
Walter Wade, Jr.: I had one
Peoples Hernandez: What kind of boat you had?
Walter Wade, Jr.: Boston Whaler
Peoples Hernandez: You've been around the world right?
Walter Wade, Jr.: [Nods] yeah
Peoples Hernandez: You know something, I've got so much money, and I've never been on an airplane my whole God damn life
Walter Wade, Jr.: [Pointing to Peoples' tattoo on his neck] let me ask you something? What's that mean?
Peoples Hernandez: Five boroughs, five families, one love
Walter Wade, Jr.: [Chuckles] Ok
Peoples Hernandez: You're an interesting motherfucker, do you have a business card or something?
Peoples Hernandez: You know in this neighborhood, I am the motherfucking king snake, but the thing of it is, I go downtown to take a girl out and show her the sights, I walk into a restaurant and my stomach is in a knot, my teeth is clenched, my hands are in a fist, I don't fit in down there, people look at me and size me up, so ten minutes into it I can't wait to come back home
Walter Wade, Jr.: Ok
Peoples Hernandez: I would kill to be you, go where you go, do what you do so this what I propose: the jewelry and shit, you go hock the flash and pay me the cash, I'm going to take it, but what I really want is for you to start taking me downtown with you, I want you to start taking me wherever you go
Walter Wade, Jr.: You mean like hangout together? Take you to the Harvard club? What the hell are you talking about?

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