A high school jock makes a bet that he can turn an unattractive girl into the school's prom queen.

Laney Boggs: I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. You know, except for the whole hooker thing.
Laney Boggs: Am I a bet? Am I a FUCKING BET?
Zach Siler: So, Laney, I was wondering if you wanted to...
[Laney walks away]
Zach Siler: ...embarrass me horribly in front of all these people.
Taylor Vaughan: Careful of what? OK, I could win this thing in flourescent lighting, on the first day of my period, cloaked in T.J. Max. Ok? My mother was prom queen in '71, my cousin - prom queen in '82, and my sister would have been prom queen in '94 if it wasn't for that scam on the Conway Bed tour bus, okay? I am a goddamn legacy, all right? And besides, not to be a bitch, but who's gonna beat Taylor Vaughan?
Katie: God, I hope that's not your acceptance speech.
Zach Siler: Sometimes when you open up to people, you let the bad in with the good.
Taylor Vaughan: Jump up my ass Zach.
Zach Siler: Been there, done that.
Dean Sampson: Is that a no?
Laney Boggs: That's a hell no.
Zach Siler: She kinda blew me off.
Mackenzie Siler: I like her already.
Mackenzie Siler: So who's the lucky rebound skank?
Laney Boggs: Screw the dolphins.
Jesse Jackson: A guy tried that last year, banned from Sea World for life.
Dean Sampson: His dad owns Harrison Ford.
Laney Boggs: The actor?
Dean Sampson: No, the car dealership.
Zach Siler: [Simon is being bullied by Munge and Derek in the cafeteria and are separated by Zach] You're gonna take your magazine, get over there, and you apologize to my friend Simon.
Derek Funkhouser Rutley: [half-heartedly] Sorry.
Jeffrey Munge Rylander: [guardedly] Sorry.
Zach Siler: [to Derek] You... pube boy. Grab the pizza.
[Derek holds the pube-laced pizza up]
Zach Siler: Well?
Derek Funkhouser Rutley: Well what?
Zach Siler: [smiles] What do you think? Hoover it.
[Derek hesitates]
Zach Siler: Now!
[others groan in disgust]
Zach Siler: That's it... chew, chew, chew.
Zach Siler: [after Munge chuckles] Don't finish that... Munge wants some of the action.
Jeffrey Munge Rylander: No way, man. Those are his pubes.
Zach Siler: Well, you should have thought about that before you picked on my friend Simon.
Simon Boggs: [gloating to Munge] Hoover it.
Jeffrey Munge Rylander: [Derek hands pizza to Munge] Thanks.
Brock Hudson: You didn't really think I'd leave for All-Star "Road Rules" and still be dating you? Oh, you did? That's so sweet.
Zach Siler: All you have left is a C minus GPA with a Wonderbra.
Mackenzie Siler: Nothing personal, Laney, but this particular... coif, doesn't really go with your face shape.
Laney Boggs: What do you have in mind?
Mackenzie Siler: Well, I have an idea.
Laney Boggs: What kind of idea?
Mackenzie Siler: ...You'd really have to trust me.
[first lines]
Laney Boggs: Simon! Simon, I have got your breakfast! Are you up?
Simon Boggs: Give me a couple of minutes.
Laney Boggs: Simon Boggs, there are children in Mexico who have already been up for three hours making clothes for corporate America.
Mackenzie Siler: When was the last time you tweezed?
Laney Boggs: What?
Mackenzie Siler: I mean your eyebrows.
Laney Boggs: Never, why?
Mackenzie Siler: Ever watch Sesame Street?
Laney Boggs: Yeah.
Mackenzie Siler: You know Bert?
Zach Siler: Give her the right look, the right boyfriend, and bam. In six weeks she's being named prom queen.
Jesse Jackson: I'm Jesse Jackson. I'm not a good dancer.
Mackenzie Siler: I'm Mac. I go to school with 500 chicks.
Laney Boggs: Who the HELL would nominate me?
Zach Siler: So, can I have the last dance?
Laney Boggs: No, you can have the first.
Laney Boggs: What is this, some sort of dork outreach program?
Zach Siler: Has anyone see Taylor?
Chandler: What?
Zach Siler: You know, Taylor, my girlfriend.
Dean Sampson: Kinda tall, yells at everyone?
Dean Sampson: I mean, the girl's an institution in this place. Every girl wants to be her, and every guy wants to nail her.
Preston: Basically she's you, with tits.
Taylor Vaughan: You didn't think you became popular for real, did you? Oh, you did? That's so sweet.
Zach Siler: Brock Hudson? What kind of a name is that?
Taylor Vaughan: What kind of a name is "Zach?" OK, Brock is from "The Real World."
Zach Siler: What, Resceda?
Taylor Vaughan: No, like the TV show. "Real World LA", second season, hello!
Zach Siler: The dyslexic volleyball guy? They kicked him out of the house.
[last lines]
Principal Stickley: [at graduation] Dean Sampson, Jr.!
Dean Sampson: [being tapped by girl] What?
Girl: They are calling you.
Dean Sampson: Huh?
Principal Stickley: Dean Sampson, Jr.?... Alex Chason Sawyer, Rainwater Skies Sebastian, Pacey Constance Shea... Zachary Siler.
[cheering heard]
Zach Siler: What was that?
Laney Boggs: I was busy.
Zach Siler: Yeah, busy wiggin'.
Laney Boggs: I did not wig.
Zach Siler: Oh, there was major wiggage.
Melissa: He spoke to me!
Girl #2: He called you Connie!
Melissa: So?
Girl #2: Your name is Melissa!
Laney Boggs: Sir, have you reached a decision?
Elderly: Yes I have. Supersize my balls.
Brock Hudson: It's not about disrespect, it's just gas.
Zach Siler: This is all fascinating, Taylor, but could you skip to the part where you decided to screw me over.
Taylor Vaughan: [spilling drink on Laney] Oh, Oopsie. You know, you really should be more careful with silk.
Laney Boggs: Thank you.
Taylor Vaughan: Excuse me?
Laney Boggs: Thank you. For a minute there, I forgot why I avoided places like this and people like you.
Taylor Vaughan: Avoided us? Honey, look around you. To everyone here who matters, you're vapor, you're spam, a waste of perfectly good yearbook space, and nothing's ever gonna change that.
[Laney's eyes tear up]
Taylor Vaughan: Oh, you aren't going to cry are you?
Dean Sampson: One second, you're Zach Siler, class president, stand-out athlete, all-around bad-ass mamba-jahamba; the next thing you know, you're Zach Siler, bitch-boy.
Girl #2: My soul is an island, my car is a Ford.

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