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A woman's world is rocked when she discovers her husband is cheating on her.
Eddie Bichon: Em, Emma Rae. Emma Rae: Are you addressing me? Eddie Bichon: Yes. Emma Rae: Well lick it, put a stamp on it, and mail it to someone who gives a shit.
[Emma Rae knees Eddie in the groin] Emma Rae: Grace, the lying cheating sack of shit is here. Eddie Bichon: [on the floor] Can't... breathe... Grace: Oh, my God. Emma Rae, what did you do? Emma Rae: Well, you said to keep him busy. He's busy holding his nuts. Grace: Oh, my God. Eddie, are you all right? Eddie Bichon: No! Grace: Help me get him up. Eddie Bichon: No! You stay the hell over there! Emma Rae: Don't worry. I wouldn't walk that far to help you up. Grace: My God, Emma Rae. What is the matter with you? Emma Rae: Consider it a blow for your dignity. Grace: What is dignified about kicking somebody in the balls? Emma Rae: Well, I feel better.
Grace: Emma Rae, I have a cookbook to put out, and a daughter to raise, and the God damn winter Grand Prix. And I just don't have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve, so please, don't ask me to stop and think!
Emma Rae: I've got to see a horse about a man.
Grace: Oh don't you lay that on me! I have orgasms everyday I've just gotten so use to having them when you're not in the room. Eddie Bichon: Well that's just GREAT!
Eddie Bichon: If you didn't want to get married why did you? Grace: Why'd you ask me? Eddie Bichon: Why'd I ask you? Grace: Yeah, you're the one who hasn't even stopped dating yet!
Wyly King: You know you were lucky to get her the first time. Eddie Bichon: It was a damn miracle.
Wyly King: All of our friends complain about how their kids grow up and run off and they never hear from them anymore. Why the hell can't that happen to us?
Wyly King: You understand what I'm saying? Grace: I think so. [clears throat] Grace: You're telling me that if I just, eat shit politely with a knife and fork, and just learn to swallow the handfuls of bullshit that he serves up to me then everything will be just a-okay. Is that it daddy? I mean that's what you're saying isn't it daddy? I mean isn't- [spills food, gets up and walks away]
Emma Rae: [to Grace, about Eddie] You married a guy whose nickname in college was Hound Dog. What did you expect was going to happen?
Georgia King: What on earth was he thinking of? Emma Rae: Prob'ly the same thing he was thinkin' with.
Wyly King: Son, I guess you're right. I don't know my ass from Bakersfield. Or is it shit from Shinola? Jamie Johnson: Either way.
Grace: Yeah, I just want to ask how many people here has NOT had sex with my husband?
Wyly King: I may have fooled around a little bit, but I've never cheated.