In order to save their bankrupt school, a group of troublesome girls stage a robbery with a group of geniuses on their tails.

Annabelle Fritton: Daddy, you can't expect me to stay here. It's like Hogwarts for Pikeys!
Kelly: St. Trinian's is closing down.
[all the girls start to cheer]
Kelly: We're facing the biggest crisis of our lives and you're behaving like bloody children. If this place closes down, we have to go to other schools. And by that I mean *normal* schools.
Tania: You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!
Miss Fritton: Don't you think I make a remarkable queen?
Tania, Tara: We've got double chemistry tommorrow, we'll work on the explosives then.
Carnaby Fritton: Who are you?
Flash Harry: [sputters for a second] Uh... German!
Kelly: [the girls are trying to decide what to steal to save their school from foreclosure] What about that?
Kelly: [Points at copy of "Girl With Pearl Earring"]
Chelsea, Chloe, Peaches: [Gasp] Oh my God.
Chelsea: You want to steal Scarlett Johansson?
Kelly: You are so blonde, Chelsea.
Bursar: OK girls, let's play clean. No biting, no scratching... kicking, no gouging, no kickboxing, no punching, no slapping, no spitting... uh... no gouging! And no no-regulation equipment. James, this is with you!
[James is using a knife to sharpen her hockey stick into a spear]
Bursar: OK, into position!
[Bursar blows the whistle to start the game, and is immediately KO'ed with a stick blow]
[answering a fruit-based quiz question]
Matron: Papau.
Chelsea: Um...
Matron: Papau!
Chelsea: Um...!
Quiz host: I will have to hurry you, I'm afraid
Chelsea: [tentatively] Is it... Pineapple?
Quiz host: That is Correct!
Matron: [quietly] Oh.
Emo Girl: We're not goth, we're emo.
Chelsea: [the earpieces Chelsea, Chloe and Peaches are using to help cheat during the quiz show are suddenly shut off, causing them to generate feedback right into the girls' ears] That hurt worse than a Brazilian wax.
Quiz host: In which Shakespeare play would you find the following stage directions "exit pursued by a bear"?
[buzzer sounds]
Quiz host: Yes. Chas, Bedales.
Bedales Pupil 1: Was it Winnie the Pooh?
Miss Fritton: Ah, Ms Bagstock, your girlish laughter hit me like the lash of a hunting crop.
Flash Harry: What's this then? A sweet? A mini cigar?
[sucks on the end]
Taylor: They're tampons Flash.
[disgusted gagging noise as Flash spits it out]
Taylor: Women don't just want to feel beautiful on the outside!
Geoffrey Thwaites: [Is discovered in one of the girls' rooms with his pants down] You wouldn't know the way to the hockey pitch, would you?
[Cut to him being thrown out a window and landing in a fountain]
Tania: [takes out a pack of Cigarettes]
Kelly: Tania what are you doing? You're ten! And you're carrying high-explosives!
Tania: It's not what you think Kel!
[puts Cigarettes up her nose]
Tara: It's for the smell!
Tania, Tara: We saw it on CSI!
Miss Fritton: [quietly] Snooty cow.
[realising Ms Bagstock heard her]
Miss Fritton: [shouting] Emily Snooty-Cow! DO remember to stretch! Good girl!
[confused looks from pitch]
Flash Harry: I wanted to talk to you about the problems with the last batch.
Tania, Tara: Problems, Flash?
Flash Harry: The slightly bitter aftertaste, the people going blind after the second glass, that lady wot died...
Tania: She was old.
Tara: She could have gone at any time.
Flash Harry: She was thirty-eight.
Tania, Tara: Yeah?
Miss Dickinson: With your girlish wiles and your minxy ways and now your criminal cunning, you know what you are?
Chelsea: A washed up slapper.
[loud fart echoes from the St. Trinians quiz team]
Chelsea: I am so sorry... its a side effect of my raisin-and-ryvita diet!
[disgusted looks]
Quiz host: Contrary to popular belief... better in than out.
Chelsea: Oh my god! You want us to steal Scarlett Johansson?
Quiz host: [as one of the Bedale pupils walks up to him] What are you doing? What are you doing? Chas, get back. I'm being touched! Derek, I'm being touched! Derek, someone's touching me!

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