A young boy whose parents have just divorced finds an unlikely friend and mentor in the misanthropic, bawdy, hedonistic war veteran who lives next door.

Brother Geraghty: We celebrate all the religions of the world in this room, Oliver. I'm a catholic, which is the best of all the religions, really, because we have the most rules. And the best clothes. But among us, there is also a buddhist, agnostic, we have a baptist, and we have an "I don't know", which seems to be the fastest growing religion in the world.
Vincent: You never seen Abbott and Costello?
Oliver: No, sir. Are they old?
Vincent: No. They're dead. That's the oldest you can be.
Oliver: Or the youngest. Time freezes when you're dead.
Vincent: You need to defend yourself, or you get mowed down.
Oliver: I'm small, if you haven't noticed.
Vincent: Yeah, so was Hitler.
Oliver: That's a horrible comparison.
Vincent: Indeed. Making a point, though.
Daka: My water is broken!
Vincent: Call a plumber.
Oliver: What's Vin like when I'm not around?
Daka: [with Russian accent] He don't like people. People don't like him. Except cat, and you. Why you like him?
[first lines]
Vincent: So this Irish guy knocks on this lady's door and says, you know, "Have you got any, uh... Any, uh... work for me?" And she says, "Um, well, you now, as a matter of fact, you could paint the porch." But two hours later, he comes back and says, "I'm finished, ma'am, but just for your information, it's not a Porsche, it's a BMW."
[bar patrons stunned]
Oliver: He's paying me hourly.
Vincent: I'm showing him how the world works. You work, you get paid, you drink.
Maggie: You're drinking alcohol?
Vincent: ...I honestly don't remember.
Vincent: A lady of the night.
Oliver: What's that?
Vincent: It's one of the more honest ways to make a living.
Ocinski: Hey, uh, your dad the one that taught you how to fight?
Oliver: No, my babysitter.
Maggie: [about Oliver's book] God, that's depressing.
Oliver: No, it's not. The tree was meant to give, so to be able to give everything and have nothing left is the best life the tree could ever have.
Maggie: Well, your father must think I'm a tree.
Oliver: Why would he think that?
Maggie: Nothing. Nothing.
Vincent: [to Oliver] Do yourself a favor. Get a life. Stop living mine.
Oliver: Is that our new neighbor?
Maggie: Yep.
Oliver: It's gonna be a long life.
Zucko: Come on, Vinny! Why do you always have to do things the hard way?
Vincent: It's more interesting.
Zucko: And a lot more painful.
Vincent: Don't ever become a pencil-pusher kid, they're spineless.
Vincent: [answering telephone] Come on, coward, try to sell me something.

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