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Two British agents (John Steed and Emma Peel) team up to stop Sir August De Wynter from destroying the world with a weather changing machine.
Loki: Enough! You are, all of you are beneath me! I am a god, you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by... [Hulk flattens Loki with repeated smashes into the floor] The Hulk: Puny god.
Steve Rogers: Thor, what's his play? Thor: He has an army, called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the Earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract. Steve Rogers: An army. From outer space. Bruce Banner: So he's building another portal. That's what he needs Erik Selvig for. Thor: Selvig? Bruce Banner: He's an astrophysicist. Thor: He's a friend. Natasha Romanoff: Loki has them under some kind of spell. Along with one of ours. Steve Rogers: I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading an army from here. Bruce Banner: I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him. Thor: Have a care how you speak! Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard and he is my brother! Natasha Romanoff: He killed eighty people in two days. Thor: He's adopted.
Loki: The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that. What have I to fear? Tony Stark: The Avengers. That's what we call ourselves; we're sort of like a team. "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" type thing. Loki: Yes, I've met them. Tony Stark: Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them. Loki: That was the plan. Tony Stark: Not a great plan. When they come, and they WILL, they'll come for you. Loki: I have an army. Tony Stark: We have a Hulk. Loki: I thought the beast had wandered off... Tony Stark: You're missing the point! There's no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it!
Steve Rogers: What's the matter, scared of a little lightning? Loki: I'm not overly fond of what follows... [Thor appears]
Thor: Where is the Tesseract? Loki: [laughs] I missed you too. Thor: Do I look to be in a gaming mood? Loki: Oh, you should thank me. With the Bifrost gone, how much dark energy did the Allfather have to muster to conjure you here, your precious Earth? Thor: I thought you dead. Loki: Did you mourn? Thor: We all did. Our father... Loki: YOUR father! He DID tell you my true parentage, did he not? Thor: We were raised together, we played together, we fought together. Do you remember none of that? Loki: I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me into an abyss, I who was and should be king! Thor: So you take the world I love as recompense for your imagined slights? No, the Earth is under MY protection, Loki! Loki: [laughs] And you're doing a marvelous job with that! The humans slaughter each other in droves, while you ideally threat. I mean to rule them. And why should I not? Thor: You think yourself above them? Loki: Well, yes. Thor: Then you miss the truth of ruling, brother. A throne would suit you ill. Loki: I've seen worlds you've never known about! I have grown, Odin's Son, in my exile! I have seen the true power of the Tesseract, and when I wield it... Thor: Who showed you this power? Who controls the would-be-king? Loki: I AM a king! Thor: Not here! You give up the Tesseract! You give up this pointless dream!... You come home. [pause] Loki: ...I don't have it. [Thor threatens Loki with his hammer] Loki: You need the cube to bring me home, but I've sent it off, I know not where. Thor: You listen well, brother. I... [Thor is knocked off the mountain by Iron Man who tackles him in mid-flight] Loki: I'm listening.
Iron Man: [as the fight begins] Call it, Captain! Captain America: Alright, listen up. Until we can close that portal, our priority's containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or you turn it to ash. Hawkeye: [to Iron Man] Want to give me a lift? Iron Man: Right. Better clench up, Legolas. [Iron Man takes Hawkeye up to the roof] Captain America: Thor, you gotta try and bottleneck that portal. Slow 'em down. You got the lightning. Light the bastards up. [Thor swings his hammer and flies off and Captain America turns to Black Widow] Captain America: You and me, we stay here on the ground, keep the fighting here. And Hulk? [the Hulk turns and glares at Cap] Captain America: Smash! [Hulk grins and leaps away]
Steve Rogers: Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you? Tony Stark: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Steve Rogers: I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you. Tony Stark: I think I would just cut the wire. Steve Rogers: Always a way out... You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero. Tony Stark: A hero? Like you? You're a lab rat, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle! Steve Rogers: Put on the suit. Let's go a few rounds.
Agent Phil Coulson: [via phone] Mr Stark, we need to talk. Tony Stark: You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark, please leave a message. Agent Phil Coulson: This is urgent. Tony Stark: Then leave it urgently. [Coulson enters Stark's penthouse, hanging up his cellphone] Tony Stark: Security breach. Tony Stark: [to Pepper] That's on you. Agent Phil Coulson: Mr Stark. Pepper Potts: Phil! Come in. Tony Stark: "Phil?" Uh, his first name is "Agent."
Tony Stark: [regaining consciousness] What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me. Steve Rogers: We won. Tony Stark: Alright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.
Tony Stark: What's the stat, Rogers? Steve Rogers: [looks at the Helicarrier tech] It seems to be powered by some sort of electricity! Tony Stark: ...well, you're not wrong.
Tony Stark: [to Bruce Banner] You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?
Security Guard: Are you an alien? Bruce Banner: What? Security Guard: From outer space, an alien. Bruce Banner: No. Security Guard: Well then son, you've got a condition.
[Stark suits up to chase Thor and Loki] Steve Rogers: Stark, we need a plan of attack! Tony Stark: I have a plan: attack!
Tony Stark: That man is playing Galaga! Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did.
Natasha Romanoff: I want to know what you've done to Agent Barton. Loki: I would say I've expanded his mind. Natasha Romanoff: And once you've won, once you're king of the mountain, what happens to his mind? Loki: Oh. Is this love, Agent Romanoff? Natasha Romanoff: Love is for children. I owe him a debt. Loki: Tell me. Natasha Romanoff: Before I worked for SHIELD, I, uh... Well, I made a name for myself. I have a very specific skill set. I didn't care who I used it for, or on. I got on SHIELD's radar in a bad way. Agent Barton was sent to kill me. He made a different call. Loki: And what will you do if I vow to spare him? Natasha Romanoff: Not let you out. Loki: [smiles] No, but I like this. Your world in the balance, and you bargain for one man. Natasha Romanoff: Regimes fall every day. I tend not to weep over that, I'm Russian... or was. Loki: And what are you now? Natasha Romanoff: It's really not that complicated. I've got red in my ledger, I'd like to wipe it out. Loki: Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? Dreykov's daughter, Sao Paulo, the hospital fire? [Natasha's calm demeanor starts to break] Loki: Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's GUSHING red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer... PATHETIC! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code. Something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away!... I won't touch Barton. Not until I make him kill you! [Natasha's eyes start to bulge as her face turns fearful] Loki: [snarling] Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear! And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull! This is MY bargain, you mewling quim! [Natasha turns and takes several steps away] Natasha Romanoff: [starts to cry] You're a monster! Loki: [laughing] Oh no, you brought the monster. Natasha Romanoff: [quickly dropping her facade] So, Banner... that's your play. Loki: ...What? Natasha Romanoff: [on the intercom] Loki means to unleash the Hulk. Keep Banner in the lab, I'm on my way. Send Thor as well. Natasha Romanoff: [turning back to Loki] Thank you... for your cooperation.
Loki: Kneel before me. I said, KNEEL! [Loki stamps his scepter on the ground, causing a shockwave that intimidates the crowd into silence as they all kneel before him] Loki: Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel. German Old Man: [slowly rises to his feet] Not to men like you. Loki: [smiling] There are no men like me. German Old Man: There are *always* men like you. Loki: Look to your elder, people. Let him be an example. [Loki aims a blast of power from his scepter at the old man when Captain America leaps in front of the intended target, deflecting the blast with his shield back at Loki, knocking him down] Steve Rogers: You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing. Loki: The soldier. A man out of time. Steve Rogers: I'm not the one who's out of time.
Natasha Romanoff: [watching the aliens come toward them] This is just like Budapest all over again. Clint Barton: You and I remember Budapest very differently.
Thor: Do not touch me again! Tony Stark: Then don't take my stuff. Thor: You have no idea what you are dealing with. Tony Stark: Uh, Shakespeare in The Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes? Thor: This is beyond you, metal man. Loki will face Asgardian justice. Tony Stark: He gives up the Cube, he's all yours. Until then, stay out of the way, tourist.
Thor: I thought humans were more evolved than this. Nick Fury: Excuse me, did WE come to YOUR planet and blow stuff up?
Pepper Potts: Is this about the Avengers? Which I know nothing about. Tony Stark: The Avengers initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't even qualify. Pepper Potts: I didn't know that either. Tony Stark: Apparently I'm volatile, self-obsessed, and don't play well with others. Pepper Potts: That I did know.
Steve Rogers: Does Loki need any particular kind of power source? Bruce Banner: He'd have to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier. Tony Stark: Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunnelling effect. Bruce Banner: Well, if he could do that, he could achieve heavy ion fusion at any reactor on the planet. Tony Stark: Finally, someone who speaks English. Steve Rogers: Is that what just happened? [Stark and Banner shake hands] Tony Stark: It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster. Bruce Banner: Thanks. Nick Fury: [to Stark] Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube. I was hoping you might join him. Steve Rogers: Let's start with that stick of his. It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a Hydra weapon. Nick Fury: I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys. Thor: Monkeys? I do not understand. Steve Rogers: I do! [Stark rolls his eyes, while Captain America looks proud of himself] Steve Rogers: I understood that reference.
Tony Stark: [about Loki killing Coulson] He made it personal. Steve Rogers: That's not the point. Tony Stark: That IS the point. That's Loki's point! He hit us all right where we live. Why? Steve Rogers: To tear us apart. Tony Stark: Yeah, divide and conquer is great, but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? THAT'S what he wants. He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it. He wants an audience. Steve Rogers: Right. I caught his act at Stuttgart. Tony Stark: Yeah, that was just previews. This is - this is opening night. And Loki, he's a full-tilt diva, right? He wants flowers, he wants parades. He wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered... [Stark pauses; he and Rogers look at each other knowingly] Tony Stark: Sonofabitch!
Natasha Romanoff: [all arguing in the lab] Are you really that dense? S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors potential threats. Bruce Banner: Captain America is on threat watch? Natasha Romanoff: We ALL are! Tony Stark: [to Rogers] You're on that list? Are you above or below angry bees? Steve Rogers: I swear, Stark, one more wisecrack out of you... Tony Stark: Verbal threat! Threatening! I'm being threatened!
Steve Rogers: Doctor Banner, now might be a good time for you to get angry. Bruce Banner: That's my secret, Captain: I'm always angry. [Banner hulks out and punches the Leviathan]
[Captain America puts on a parachute to go follow after Thor, Loki and Iron Man] Natasha Romanoff: I'd sit this one out, Cap. Steve Rogers: I don't see how I can. Natasha Romanoff: These guys come from legend. They're basically gods. Steve Rogers: There's only one God, ma'am, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that. [Captain America leaps out of the Quinjet]
Steve Rogers: Stark, are you seeing any of this? Tony Stark: Seeing, still working on believing.
Jarvis: [Thor has just thrown a thunderbolt on Iron Man] Power to four-hundred percent capacity. Tony Stark: How about that?
[Loki awakens to find the Avengers staring down at him] Loki: If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now.
Loki: How will your friends have time for me, when they're so busy fighting you? [taps Stark with his scepter, but the Arc Reactor stops the effect] Loki: [tries again, with no success] This usually works... Tony Stark: Well, performance issues, it's not uncommon. One out of five...
Tony Stark: [Covering his eye, looks around] How does Fury even see these? Maria Hill: He turns. Tony Stark: Sounds exhausting.
Tony Stark: What else you got? Clint Barton: Well, Thor's taking on a squadron down on Sixth. Tony Stark: And he didn't invite me...
Tony Stark: You know, I've got a cluster of shrapnel, trying every second to crawl its way into my heart. [Stark points at the mini-arc reactor in his chest] Tony Stark: This stops it. This little circle of light. It's part of me now, not just armor. It's a... terrible privilege. Bruce Banner: But you can control it. Tony Stark: Because I learned how. Bruce Banner: It's different. [Banner tries to read the computer screen, but Stark slides the data aside with his finger so the two can see face-to-face] Tony Stark: Hey, I've read all about your accident. That much gamma exposure should have killed you. Bruce Banner: So you're saying that the Hulk... the other guy... saved my life? That's nice. It's a nice sentiment. Save it for what? Tony Stark: I guess we'll find out. [Banner and Stark get back to work at their respective computers] Bruce Banner: You might not like that. Tony Stark: You just might.
Waitress: [deleted scene: Cap, feeling disconnected from the world, sits at an outdoor cafe table sketching Stark Tower] Waiting on the big guy? Steve Rogers: Ma'am? Waitress: Iron Man. A lot of people eat here just to see him fly by. Steve Rogers: Right. Maybe another time. [pays his tab] Waitress: The table's yours as long as you like. Nobody's waiting on it. Plus we've got free wireless. Steve Rogers: Radio? [she gives him a nice look over her shoulder as she walks away] Stan Lee: [from the adjacent table] Ask for her number, you moron.
Steve Rogers: Stark? We got him. Tony Stark: Banner...? Steve Rogers: Just like you said. Tony Stark: Then tell him to suit up... I'm bringing the party to you. [Stark in his Iron Man armor leads the monstrous Leviathan into view, heading toward the rest of the Avengers] Natasha Romanoff: I - I don't see how that's a party.
Loki: Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity Tony Stark: Uh, actually I'm planning to threaten you. Loki: You should have left your armor on for that. Tony Stark: Yeah. It's seen a bit of "mileage" and you got the "glow-stick of destiny". Would you like a drink? Loki: Stalling me won't change anything Tony Stark: No, no no, threatening! No drink? You sure? I'm having one.
Thor: I have unfinished business with Loki. Clint Barton: Yeah? Get in line.
[Banner arrives in New York on a motorcycle just as the Chitauri have begun their attack] Bruce Banner: So... this all seems horrible. Black Widow: I've seen worse. Bruce Banner: Sorry. Black Widow: No, we could... use... a little worse.
Thor: You people are so petty... and tiny.
Maria Hill: When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics? Tony Stark: Last night. The packet. Selvig's notes, the extraction theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?
World Security Council: Director Fury, the council has made a decision. Nick Fury: I recognise the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it. World Security Council: It's a nuclear missile to take out the portal! Nick Fury: Situated at the island of MANHATTAN!
Tony Stark: I thought we were having a moment. Pepper Potts: I was having 12% of a moment.
Stan Lee: Superheroes? In New York? Give me a break!
Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you? Tony Stark: Funny things are.
[Fires missiles at a leviathan, which turns to pursue him] Tony Stark: Well, I got his attention. What the hell was step two?
Captain America: You need men in these buildings. There are people inside and they're going to be running right into the line of fire. You take them to the basements, or through the subway. You keep them off the streets. I need a perimeter as far back as 39th. Police Sergeant: Why the hell should I take orders from you? [the Chitauri attack. Cap blocks a blast with his shield, bats one Chitauri away with it, then blocks a point blank assault, punches another in the face, he grabs one of their weapons and then punches the Chitauri, flinging it across the street] Police Sergeant: I need men in those buildings. Lead the people down and away from the streets. We're going to set up a perimeter all the way down 39th Street.
[after attacking Loki with full weapons activated] Tony Stark: Make a move, Reindeer Games... [Loki quietly surrenders] Tony Stark: Good move. Steve Rogers: Mr. Stark. Tony Stark: Captain.
[Fury is visiting an imprisoned Loki] Nick Fury: In case it's unclear, if you try to escape, you so much as scratch that glass... [Fury hits a button on the machine and opens metal iris panels around the chamber] Nick Fury: ...it's 30,000 feet straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works? Ant... boot. Loki: It's an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me. Nick Fury: Built for something a lot stronger than you. Loki: Oh, I've heard. The mindless beast, makes play he's still a man. How desperate are you, that you call on such lost creatures to defend you? Nick Fury: How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can't hope to control. You talk about peace and you kill 'cause it's fun. You have made me VERY desperate. You might not be glad that you did. Loki: Ooh. It burns you to have come so close. To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share. And then to be reminded what real power is. Nick Fury: [walks away] Well, let me know if "real power" wants a magazine or something.
Agent Phil Coulson: You're gonna lose. Loki: Am I? Agent Phil Coulson: It's in your nature. Loki: Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky... where is my disadvantage? Agent Phil Coulson: You lack conviction. Loki: I don't think I... [Coulson shoots Loki with his BFG, causing Loki to be blown through the wall behind him] Agent Phil Coulson: So that's what it does.
Natasha Romanoff: Doctor, we're facing a potential global catastrophe. Bruce Banner: Well, THOSE I actively try to avoid. Natasha Romanoff: This is the Tesseract. [she shows him a photo of the Tesseract on her cell phone] Natasha Romanoff: It has the potential energy to wipe out the planet. Bruce Banner: What does Fury want me to do? Swallow it? Natasha Romanoff: Well, he wants you to find it. It's been taken. It omits a gamma signature that's too weak for us to trace. There's no one that knows gamma radiation like you do. If there was, that's where I'd be. Bruce Banner: So Fury isn't after the monster? Natasha Romanoff: Not that he's told me. Bruce Banner: And he tells you everything? Natasha Romanoff: Talk to Fury, he needs you on this. Bruce Banner: He needs me in a cage? Natasha Romanoff: No one's gonna put you in a... Bruce Banner: STOP LYING TO ME! [cringing back, Natasha quickly grabs her gun and points it at Banner] Bruce Banner: I'm sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you'd do. Why don't we do this the easy way, where you don't use that, and the other guy doesn't make a mess? Okay? [Natasha, still wary, doesn't lower her gun] Bruce Banner: Natasha? Natasha Romanoff: [she lowers her gun and speaks into her earpiece to the SHIELD agents who are surrounding the building outside] Stand down. We're good here. Bruce Banner: [Banner looks at Natasha in amusement] Just you and me?
Natasha Romanoff: Gentlemen, you might want to step inside in a minute. It's going to get a little hard to breathe. [as the Helicarrier starts to power up, Steve Rogers and Bruce Banner walk to the edge] Steve Rogers: Is this a submarine? Bruce Banner: Really? They want me submerged in a pressurized metal container? [Rogers and Banner stand at the edge and they look over as the Helicarrier starts to slowly rise out of the ocean to fly] Bruce Banner: [smiles] Oh, no, this is MUCH worse! [Rogers hands $10 to Fury]
Steve Rogers: We have orders, we should follow them. Tony Stark: Following's not really my style. Steve Rogers: And you're all about style, aren't you? Tony Stark: Of the people in this room, which one is A - wearing a spangly outfit and B - not of use?
Tony Stark: Why did Fury call us in? Why now? Why not before? What isn't he telling us? I can't do the equation unless I have all the variables. Steve Rogers: You think Fury's hiding something? Tony Stark: He's a spy. Captain. He's THE spy. His secrets have secrets.
Steve Rogers: When I went under, the world was at war. I wake up, they say we won. They didn't say what we lost. Nick Fury: We've made some mistakes along the way. Some, very recently. Steve Rogers: Are you here with a mission, sir? Nick Fury: I am. Steve Rogers: Trying to get me back in the world? Nick Fury: Trying to save it. [Fury shows a file of the Tesseract] Steve Rogers: HYDRA's secret weapon. Nick Fury: Howard Stark fished that out of the ocean when he was looking for you. He thought what we think: the Tesseract could be the key to unlimited sustainable energy. That's something the world sorely needs. Steve Rogers: Who took it from you? Nick Fury: He's called Loki. He's not from around here. There's a lot we'll have to bring you up to speed on if you're in. The world has gotten even stranger than you already know. Steve Rogers: At this point, I doubt anything would surprise me. Nick Fury: Ten bucks says you're wrong. There's a debriefing packet waiting for you at your apartment. Is there anything you can tell us about the Tesseract that we ought to know now? Steve Rogers: You should have left it in the ocean.
Nick Fury: You think you could make Loki tell us where the Tesseract is? Thor: I do not know. Loki's mind is far afield. It's not just power he craves, it's vengeance, upon me. There's no pain would prise his need from him. Nick Fury: A lot of guys think that. Until the pain starts. Thor: What are you asking me to do? Nick Fury: I'm asking, what are you prepared to do? Thor: Loki is a prisoner. Nick Fury: Then why do I feel like he's the only person on this boat that wants to be here?
Loki: [after Thor charges at Loki's duplicate and gets locked in a prison] Are you ever NOT going to fall for that?
Natasha Romanoff: [on the phone] Where is Barton now? Agent Phil Coulson: We don't know. Natasha Romanoff: But he's alive? Agent Phil Coulson: We think so. I'll brief you on everything when you get back. But first, we need you to talk to the big guy. Natasha Romanoff: Coulson, you know that Stark trusts me about as far as he can throw me. Agent Phil Coulson: Oh, I've got Stark. You get the big guy. Natasha Romanoff: [realizing he means Bruce Banner, stops dead in her tracks] Bozhe moi. [Russian for 'My God']
Nick Fury: Having trouble sleeping? Steve Rogers: I've been asleep for 70 years. I think I've had enough rest.
Tony Stark: You should come by Stark Tower sometime. Top 10 floors all R&D, you'd love it... it's candyland. Bruce Banner: Thanks, but the last time I was in New York I kind of broke... Harlem.
Agent Phil Coulson: You're at 114 Solenski Plaza, 3rd floor. We have an F-22 exactly eight miles out. Put the woman on the phone or I will blow up the block before you can make the lobby. [Luchkov, intimidated, puts the phone between Natasha's ear and shoulder] Agent Phil Coulson: We need you to come in. Natasha Romanoff: [tied to a chair] Are you kidding? I'm working. Agent Phil Coulson: This takes precedence. Natasha Romanoff: I'm in the middle of an interrogation. This moron is giving me everything. Georgi Luchkov: [to his cohorts] I don't... give everything. Natasha Romanoff: Look, you can't pull me out of this right now Agent Phil Coulson: Natasha, Barton's been compromised. Natasha Romanoff: Let me put you on hold. [Phil patiently holds while Natasha whips butt]
[Captain America throws his shield between Iron Man and Thor, stopping their fight in the woods] Steve Rogers: Hey! That's enough! [Captain America looks at Thor] Steve Rogers: Now, I don't know what you plan on doing here. Thor: I've come here to put and end to Loki's schemes! Steve Rogers: Then prove it! Put the hammer down. Tony Stark: Um, yeah, no! Bad call! He loves his hammer! [Thor knocks Iron Man back with his hammer] Thor: [to Cap] You want me to put the hammer down? [Captain America ducks and holds up his shield as Thor leaps at him, blocking Thor's blow. The impact of the hammer on the vibranium shield creates a massive shockwave, knocking Thor off his feet] Steve Rogers: Are we done here?
Tony Stark: [Discussing S.H.I.E.L.D] An intelligence agency that FEARS intelligence? Historically, not awesome.
Tony Stark: [to Steve Rogers] I'm not afraid to hit an old man.
Tony Stark: JARVIS, have you heard the tale of Jonah? Jarvis: I wouldn't consider him a role model. [Iron Man flies through a Leviathan]
Natasha Romanoff: Clint, you're gonna be alright. Clint Barton: [waking up from Loki's mind control] You know that? Is that what you know? I got... I gotta go in though. I gotta flush him out. Natasha Romanoff: You gotta level out, that's gonna take time. Clint Barton: You don't understand. Have you ever had someone take your brain and play? Take you out and stuff something else in? You know what it's like to be unmade? Natasha Romanoff: You know that I do. Clint Barton: Why am I back? How'd you get him out? Natasha Romanoff: Cognitive re-calibration. I hit you really hard in the head. Clint Barton: Thanks.
Loki: [as Fury tries to leave with the Tesseract ] Please don't. I still need that. Nick Fury: This doesn't have to get any messier. Loki: Of course it does. I've come too far anything else. I am Loki, of Asgard and I am burdened with glorious purpose. Selvig: Loki, brother of Thor. Nick Fury: We have no quarrel with your people. Loki: An ant has no quarrel with a boot. Nick Fury: Are you planning to step on us? Loki: I come with glad tidings of a world made free. Nick Fury: Free from what? Loki: Freedom. Freedom is life's great lie. Once you accept that, in your heart... [walks up to Eric Selvig and touches him with the scepter] Loki: ...you will know peace. Nick Fury: Yeah, you say "peace," I kind of think you mean the other thing. Clint Barton: Sir, Director Fury is stalling. This place is about to blow and drop a hundred feet of rock on us. He means to bury us. Nick Fury: Like the pharaohs of old. Selvig: He's right. The portal is collapsing in on itself. We've got maybe two minutes before this goes critical. Loki: Well, then... [Barton shoots Fury, they leave]
Nick Fury: Agent Romanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner back to his... Bruce Banner: Back where? You rented my room. Nick Fury: The cell was built... Bruce Banner: In case you needed to kill me, but you can't! I know! I tried!... I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth... and the other guy spit it out! So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good, until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk! [Banner slowly gets upset as he looks at Romanoff, who gets unnerved] Bruce Banner: You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm? [Black Widow and Nick Fury have their hands down to grab their guns] Steve Rogers: Doctor Banner... put down the scepter. [Banner looks down and is shocked to see he's holding Loki's scepter; the computer beeps] Tony Stark: Got it. [Banner puts down the scepter and heads to the computer] Bruce Banner: Sorry, kids. You don't get to see my little party trick after all.
Black Widow: [Penetrating the barrier with Loki's scepter] I can close it. Can anybody copy? I can shut the portal down. Captain America: Do it! Iron Man: No wait! Captain America: Stark, these things are still coming! Iron Man: I got a nuke coming in. It's going to blow in less than a minute, and I know just where to put it. Captain America: Stark, you know that's a one way trip? Iron Man: Save the rest for the turn, J. Jarvis: Sir, shall I try Ms. Potts? Iron Man: Might as well.
Pepper Potts: Levels are holding steady... I think. Tony Stark: Of course they are, I was directly involved. Which brings me to my next question: how does it feel to be a genius? Pepper Potts: Well, ha, I really wouldn't know now, would I? Tony Stark: What do you mean? All this came from you. Pepper Potts: No. All this came from that. [Points to the energy in his chest plate] Tony Stark: Give yourself some credit, please. Stark Tower is your baby. Give yourself... 12% of the credit. Pepper Potts: Twelve percent? Tony Stark: An argument can be made for fifteen. Pepper Potts: Twelve percent for my baby? Tony Stark: Well, I did do all the heavy lifting. Literally, I lifted the heavy things. And sorry, but the security snafu? That was on you. Pepper Potts: Oooooh. Tony Stark: My private elevator... Pepper Potts: You mean OUR elevator? Tony Stark: ...was teeming with sweaty workmen. I'm going to pay for that comment about percentages in some subtle way later, aren't I? Pepper Potts: Not gonna be that subtle. Tony Stark: I'll tell you what. Next building's gonna say 'Potts' on the tower. Pepper Potts: On the lease. Tony Stark: ...Call your mom, can you bunk over?
Nick Fury: [having discovered a security breach] What are you doing, Mr Stark? Tony Stark: Uh, kind of been wondering the same thing about you. Nick Fury: You're supposed to be locating the Tesseract! Bruce Banner: We are! The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get the hit, we'll have a signature within half a mile. Tony Stark: Yeah, you'll get your cube back, no mas, no fuss. [pause] Tony Stark: What is Phase 2? Steve Rogers: [drops a weapon on a table] Phase 2 is SHIELD uses the Cube to make weapons! Sorry, the computer was moving a little slow for me. Nick Fury: Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract, this does not mean that we... Tony Stark: I'm sorry Nick, what were you lying? [turns a monitor around showing a schematic of a rocket] Steve Rogers: I was wrong, Director. The world hasn't changed a bit.
Thor: We on Asgard pretend that we are more advanced, but we, we come here battling like Bilgesnipe. Agent Phil Coulson: Like what? Thor: The Bilgesnipe, you know; huge, scaly, big antlers. You don't have those? Agent Phil Coulson: Don't think so. Thor: They are repulsive, and they trample everything in their path.
[Black Widow is flying a Quinjet, while a maskless Captain America and helmetless Iron Man stand in the back keeping an eye on Loki] Steve Rogers: I don't like it. Tony Stark: What? Rock of Ages giving up so easily? Steve Rogers: I don't remember it being ever that easy. This guy packs a wallop. Tony Stark: Still, you are pretty spry, for an older fellow. What's your thing, Pilates? Steve Rogers: What? Tony Stark: It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle. [Captain America looks at Iron Man, annoyed] Steve Rogers: Fury didn't tell me he was calling you in. Tony Stark: Yeah, there's a lot of things Fury doesn't tell you.
World Security Council: Where are the Avengers? Nick Fury: I'm not currently tracking their whereabouts. I'd say they've earned a leave of absence. World Security Council: And the Tesseract? Nick Fury: The Tesseract is where it belongs: out of our reach. World Security Council: That's not your call. Nick Fury: I didn't make it. I just didn't argue with the god that did. World Security Council: So you let him take it and the war criminal, Loki, who should be answering for his crimes? Nick Fury: Oh, I think he will be. World Security Council: I don't think you understand what you've started. Letting the Avengers loose on this world. They're dangerous. Nick Fury: They surely are. And the whole world knows it. Every world knows it. World Security Council: Was that the point of all this? A statement? Nick Fury: A promise.
Loki: Kneel! Steve Rogers: Not today!
[In a Quinjet, Agent Coulson walks to Steve Rogers who is seated and looks at Bruce Banner's file on his laptop] Steve Rogers: So this Doctor Banner was trying to replicate the serum that was used on me? Agent Phil Coulson: A lot of people were. You were the world's first superhero. Banner thought gamma radiation might hold the key to unlocking Erskine's original formula. [Steve watches the footage of the Hulk's attack on the Army at Culver University and the Hulk roars with fury as he slams a jeep apart] Steve Rogers: Didn't really go his way, did it? Agent Phil Coulson: Not so much. When he's not that thing though, guy's like a Stephen Hawking. [Steve looks puzzled, not understanding the reference] Agent Phil Coulson: He's like a smart person. I gotta say, it's an honor to meet you, officially. I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping. I mean, I was... I was present while you were unconscious from the ice. You know, it's really, it's just a... just a huge honor to have you on board. Steve Rogers: Well, I hope I'm the man for the job. Agent Phil Coulson: Oh, you are. Absolutely. Uh... we've made some modifications to the uniform. I had a little design input. Steve Rogers: The uniform? Aren't the stars and stripes a little... old-fashioned? Agent Phil Coulson: With everything that's happening, the things that are about to come to light, people might just need a little old-fashioned.
Tony Stark: [to Captain America] In a few hours I'll know every dirty secret S.H.I.E.L.D. has been trying to hide. Blueberry?
Steve Rogers: Word is you can find the cube. Bruce Banner: Is that the only word on me? Steve Rogers: Only word I care about.
Maintenance Guy: [as the Avengers climb aboard the Quinjet to fly to Manhattan] Uh... You are not authorized to be here! Steve Rogers: Son... just don't.
Nick Fury: These were in Phil Coulson's jacket. I guess he never did get you to sign them. [Throws bloodstained Captain America trading cards on the table. Rogers picks up one of them] Nick Fury: We're dead in the air up here. Our communications, the location of the Cube, Banner, Thor... I got nothing for you. I lost my one good eye. Maybe I had that coming. [Walks toward Rogers] Nick Fury: Yes. We were going to build an arsenal with the Tesseract. I never put all my chips on that number, though, because I was playing something even riskier. [pauses] Nick Fury: There was an idea, Stark knows this, called the Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of of remarkable people to see if they could become something more. To see if they could work together when we needed them to, to fight the battles that we never could. [Looks at Stark] Nick Fury: Phil Coulson died, still believing in that idea. In heroes. [Stark suddenly gets up and leaves the bridge] Nick Fury: Well, it's a good old-fashioned notion.
Steve Rogers: [about Coulson] Was he married? Tony Stark: No. There was a, uh... cellist. I think. Steve Rogers: I'm sorry. He seemed like a good man. Tony Stark: He was an idiot. Steve Rogers: Why? For believing? Tony Stark: For taking on Loki alone. Steve Rogers: He was doing his job. Tony Stark: [scoffs] He was out of his league. He should have waited. He should have... Steve Rogers: Sometimes there isn't a way out, Tony. Tony Stark: Right, I've heard that before. Steve Rogers: Is this the first time you've lost a soldier? Tony Stark: WE ARE NOT SOLDIERS! I am not marching to Fury's fife! Steve Rogers: Neither am I! He's got the same blood on his hands that Loki does. But right now we've got to put that behind us and get this done.
Bruce Banner: Should have got paid up front, Banner. Natasha Romanoff: [comes up behind him] You know, for a man who's supposed to be avoiding stress, you picked a hell of a place to settle. Bruce Banner: Avoiding stress isn't the secret. Natasha Romanoff: Then, what is it? Yoga? Bruce Banner: You brought me to the edge of the city, smart. I uh... assume the whole place is surrounded? Natasha Romanoff: Just you and me. Bruce Banner: And your actress buddy, is she a spy too? Do they start that young? Natasha Romanoff: I did. Bruce Banner: Who are you? Natasha Romanoff: Natasha Romanoff. Bruce Banner: Are you here to kill me, Miss Romanoff? Because that's not gonna work out for everyone. Natasha Romanoff: No. No. Of course not. I'm here on behalf of SHIELD. Bruce Banner: SHIELD. How did they find me? Natasha Romanoff: We never lost you, doctor. We've kept our distance, even helped keep some other interested parties off your scent. Bruce Banner: Why? Natasha Romanoff: Nick Fury seems to trust you. But now I need you to come in. Bruce Banner: What if I said no? Natasha Romanoff: I'll persuade you. Bruce Banner: And what if the... other guy says no? Natasha Romanoff: You've been more than a year without an incident. I don't think you wanna break that streak. Bruce Banner: I don't get always what I want.
Steve Rogers: Are you nuts? Tony Stark: Jury's out.
Steve Rogers: You think you can hold them off? Clint Barton: Captain, it would be my genuine pleasure.
Thor: Your work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it... and his allies. It is a signal to the Realm that Earth is ready for a higher form of war! Nick Fury: Higher form? You forced our hand! We had to come up with some way that we could... Tony Stark: A nuclear deterrent? Cause that always works well... Nick Fury: Remind me how you made your fortune, Mr Stark.
Tony Stark: [to Thor] No hard feelings, Point Break. You've got a mean swing.
Thor: You speak of control, yet you court chaos. Bruce Banner: It's his M.O., isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're... we're a time-bomb. Nick Fury: You need to step away. Tony Stark: Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam? Steve Rogers: You know damn well why! Back off! Tony Stark: Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me.
Tony Stark: You're good on this end. The rest is up to you. Pepper Potts: [on the other line] You disconnected the transition lines? Are we off the grid? Tony Stark: Stark Tower is about to become a beacon of self-sustaining clean energy. Pepper Potts: Wow. So maybe our reactor takes over and it actually works? Tony Stark: I assume. Light her up. [as Iron Man flies to the Stark Tower building, the power is switched on and the Stark sign lights up] Pepper Potts: How does it look? Tony Stark: Like Christmas, but with more... *me.*
Jarvis: [as Iron Man arrives at Stark Tower to confront Loki and Selvig] Sir, I've shut down the Arc Reactor, but the device is already self-sustaining. Iron Man: Shut it down, Dr. Selvig. Selvig: It's too late! She can't stop now. She wants to show us something! A new universe. Iron Man: OK. [blasts the device, which defends itself with a barrier, blasting Selvig into a wall and pushing Iron Man back] Jarvis: The barrier is pure energy. It's unbreachable. Iron Man: Yeah I got that - Plan B. [he turns to Loki and drifts down to his landing pad] Jarvis: Sir, the Mark VII is not ready for deployment. Iron Man: Then skip the spinning rims! We're on the clock! [Lands and has his armor removed]
Natasha Romanoff: Doctor Banner... Bruce, you gotta fight it. This is just what Loki wants. We're gonna be okay. Listen to me. We're gonna be okay, right? I swear on my life I will get you out of this! You will walk away, and never... Bruce Banner: [snaps] YOUR LIFE...? [Hulks out]
Clint Barton: [Natasha has freed him from his restraints] Tasha, how many agents did I-? Natasha Romanoff: Don't. Don't do that to yourself, Clint. This is Loki. This is monsters and magic and nothing we were ever trained for. Clint Barton: Loki, he got away? Natasha Romanoff: Yeah. Don't suppose you know where? Clint Barton: [Shakes head] Didn't need to know. Didn't ask. He's gonna make his play soon though. Today. Natasha Romanoff: We gotta stop him. Clint Barton: Yeah, who's "we"? Natasha Romanoff: [Shrugs] I don't know. Whoever's left. Clint Barton: Well, I... if I put an arrow through Loki's eye socket, I'd sleep better, I s'pose. Natasha Romanoff: Now you sound like you. Clint Barton: But you don't. You're a spy, not a soldier. Now you want to wade into a war. Why? What did Loki do to you? Natasha Romanoff: He didn't, I just... [pauses] Clint Barton: Natasha. Natasha Romanoff: I've been compromised. I got red in my ledger. I'd like to wipe it out.
Bruce Banner: I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction. Nick Fury: Because of him! [points at Thor] Thor: Me? Nick Fury: Last year, Earth had a visit from another planet that had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously outgunned. Thor: My people want nothing but peace with your planet! Nick Fury: But you're not the only ones out there, are you? And you're not the only threat. The world is filling up with people that can't be matched, that can't be controlled! Steve Rogers: Like you control the cube?
Tony Stark: [on the aircraft carrier] Raise the mizzenmast! Jib the topsails!
[last lines] Maria Hill: Sir, how does it work now? They've gone their separate ways, some pretty extremely far. We get into a situation like this again, what happens then? Nick Fury: They'll come back. Maria Hill: You really sure about that? Nick Fury: I am. Maria Hill: Why? Nick Fury: Because we'll need them to.
Pepper Potts: Come on in. We're celebrating. Tony Stark: Which is why he can't stay. [flashes Coulson phony smile] Agent Phil Coulson: We need you to look this over as soon as possible. Tony Stark: I don't like being handed things... Pepper Potts: [cuts Tony off] That's fine, because I love to be handed things. [Pepper exchanges her champagne glass for Coulson's tablet] Pepper Potts: So, let's trade. [She takes Tony's champagne and gives him the tablet] Pepper Potts: Thank you. Tony Stark: [to Coulson] Official consulting hours are between 8 and 5 every other Thursday.
Natasha Romanoff: You want to think about removing yourself from this environment, Doctor? Bruce Banner: [chuckles] I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed. Natasha Romanoff: Loki is manipulating you. Bruce Banner: And you been doing what, exactly? Natasha Romanoff: You didn't come here because I batted my eyelashes at you. Bruce Banner: Yes, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy.
The Other: Humans... They are not the cowering wretches we were promised. They stand. They are unruly, and therefore cannot be ruled. To challenge them is to court death. [Thanos rises and smiles]
Black Widow: [bleeding and tired] Captain, none of this is going to mean a damn thing if we don't close that portal. Captain America: Our biggest guns couldn't touch it. Black Widow: Well, maybe it's not about guns. Captain America: If you want to get up there, you're gonna need a ride. Black Widow: [eyeing a passing Chitauri fighter craft] I got a ride. I could use a boost, though. Captain America: Are you sure about this? Black Widow: Yeah. It's gonna be fun.
The Other: The Chitauri grow restless. Loki: Let them gird themselves. I will lead them into glorious battle. The Other: Battle? Against the meager might of Earth? Loki: Glorious, not lengthy. If your force is as formidable as you claim. The Other: You question us? You question HIM? He, who put the scepter in your hand, who gave you ancient knowledge and new purpose when you were cast out, defeated? Loki: I was a king, the rightful king of Asgard! Betrayed! The Other: Your ambition is little, born of childish need. We look beyond the Earth to greater worlds the Tesseract will unveil. Loki: You don't have the Tesseract yet. I don't threaten, but until I open the doors, until your force is mine to command, you are but words. The Other: You will have your war, Asgardian. If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he can not find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for something as sweet as pain.
Steve Rogers: Have you got a suit? Clint Barton: Yeah. Steve Rogers: Then suit up.
Tony Stark: Cap, pull the lever! Steve Rogers: I need a minute here! Tony Stark: Lever. Now!
Pepper Potts: What is all of this? Tony Stark: This is, uh... [Different profiles appears in holographic form floating in the air in front of Stark and Pepper] Tony Stark: This. [Screens appear of Captain America in action, the Hulk roaring as he attacks the Army at Culver University, and another is of Loki and the Tesseract, to which Stark and Pepper look on in awe] Pepper Potts: I'm going to take the jet to D.C. tonight. Tony Stark: Tomorrow. Pepper Potts: You've got homework. You've got a lot of homework.
Nick Fury: Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.
[Nick Fury goes over to the fatally-wounded Coulson] Agent Phil Coulson: I'm sorry, boss. The god rabbited. Nick Fury: Just stay awake. Eyes on me. Agent Phil Coulson: No. I'm clocked out here. Nick Fury: Not an option. Agent Phil Coulson: It's okay, boss. This was never going to work... if they didn't have something... to... [Agent Coulson looks away and sighs his last breath. Nick Fury looks on grimly at Coulson] Nick Fury: Agent Coulson is down. Unknown SHIELD Agent: Paramedics are on their way. Nick Fury: They're already here. [Maria Hill listens on her headset, as do Captain America and Iron Man from another room] Nick Fury: They called it.
Maria Hill: Sir, those cards were in Phil Coulson's locker, not his pocket. Nick Fury: They needed a push in the right direction. [sees the Quinjet takes off] Nick Fury: They got it.
Young Cop: It's gonna be an hour before they can scramble the national guard! Police Sergeant: National Guard? Does the army know what's happening here? Young Cop: Do we?
[Nick Fury and Dr. Bruce Banner shake hands] Nick Fury: Doctor, thank you for coming. Bruce Banner: Thanks for asking nicely. So, uh... how long am I staying? Nick Fury: Once we get our hands on the Tesseract, you're in the clear. Bruce Banner: Where are you with that? [Nick Fury turns to Agent Coulson to explain, while Natasha Romanoff eyes an image of Clint Barton on a computer screen] Agent Phil Coulson: We're sweeping every wirelessly accessible camera on the planet. Cell phones, laptops. If it's connected to a satellite, it's eyes and ears for us. Natasha Romanoff: That's still not gonna find them in time. Bruce Banner: You have to narrow the field. How many spectrometers do you have access to? Nick Fury: How many are there? Bruce Banner: Call every lab you know, tell them to put the spectrometers on the roof and calibrate them for gamma rays. I'll rough out a tracking algorithm based on cluster recognition. At least we could rule out a few places. Do you have somewhere for me to work? Nick Fury: Agent Romanoff, would you show Dr. Banner to his laboratory, please. [Natasha nods and walks off, leading Banner down the hall] Natasha Romanoff: You're gonna love it, Doc. We got all the toys.
Nick Fury: Where's Barton? Selvig: The Hawk? Up in his nest, as usual.
[Thor has his arms wrapped around Hulk's right arm and he is trying to fight back the Hulk's attack] Thor: We are not your enemies, Banner! Try to think! [Hulk lifts his arm up, to Thor's surprise, and he sends him flying as he punches Thor's face with his left fist]
Selvig: The Tesseract is showing me so much. It's more than just knowledge, it's... truth. Loki: I know. What did it show you, Agent Barton? Clint Barton: My next target. Loki: Tell me what you need. Clint Barton: I'll need a distraction. [Barton grabs his bow] Clint Barton: And an eyeball.
Nick Fury: I gave you this detail so you could keep a close eye on things. Clint Barton: Well I see better from a distance. Nick Fury: Are you seeing anything that might set this thing off? Clint Barton: No one's come or gone. And Selvig's clean. No contacts, IMs. If there was any tampering, sir, it wasn't at this end. Nick Fury: At this end? Clint Barton: Yeah. The Cube is a doorway to the other end of space, right? Doors open up both sides. [on cue, the Tesseract activates and opens a portal, Loki steps through] Nick Fury: Sir, please put down the spear.
World Security Council: This is out of line, Director. You're dealing with forces you can't control. Nick Fury: You ever been in a war, Councilman? In a firefight? Did you feel an over-abundance of control? World Security Council: You're saying that this Asgard has declared war on our planet? Nick Fury: Not Asgard, Loki! World Security Council: He can't be working alone. What about the other one, his brother? Nick Fury: Our intelligence says, Thor is not a hostile. But he's worlds away, we can't depend on him to help either. It's up to us. World Security Council: Which is why you should be focusing on Phase 2, it was designed for exactly... Nick Fury: Phase 2 isn't ready, our enemy is. We need a response team.
[Hawkeye is shooting arrow after arrow against the enemies, and reports to Iron Man: ] Clint Barton: Stark? Got a lot of strays sniffing your tail. Tony Stark: Just trying to keep them off the streets. Clint Barton: [smiles] Well, they can't bank worth a damn. Find a tight corner. Tony Stark: I will roger that.
[from trailer] Nick Fury: I still believe in heroes.
Loki: You WILL kneel before me!
[from trailer] Maria Hill: You put those people together, you can't expect what's going to happen...
[first lines] The Other: The Tesseract has awakened. It is on a little world. A human world. They would wield its power, but our ally knows its workings as they never will. He is ready to lead. And our force, our Chitauri, will follow. The world will be his. The universe yours. And the humans, what can they do but burn?
[from trailer] Agent Phil Coulson: [to Hill] I think we need to time-out.
Thor: Loki, turn off the Tesseract or I will destroy it! Loki: You can't! There's no stopping it. There is only the war! Thor: So be it!
Natasha Romanoff: Come on, Stark...
[from trailer] Nick Fury: Gentlemen, you're up!
[from trailer] Agent Phil Coulson: What do we do? Nick Fury: We get ready.
Sir August de Wynter: Take India. You can have a good 10 inches overnight, there.
Alice: [holding a submachine gun, to Steed and Emma Peel] Would you please be so kind as to hit the ground, if it's not too much trouble? [Fires submachine gun, kills the bad guy] Alice: I hope he was a baddie.
John Steed: Oh, just one thing... Emma Peel: Good luck? John Steed: Something like that.
Sir August de Wynter: Nothing is impossible, only mathematically improbable.
John Steed: Mrs. Peel, what kept you? Emma Peel: The weather.
Techinian: [first lines - after negotiating gauntlet] Well done, Steed. John Steed: My pleasure. John Steed: But the nuns were a surprise. Techinian: We try.
Emma Peel: I suppose Mother warned you about women like me? John Steed: Until now, I didn't know there were women like you.
John Steed: After all, according to your file, you're a psychopathic personality with schizophrenic delusions, suffering from recurring amnesia based on traumatic repression leading to outbursts of antisocial and violent behavior. Knight to king seven. Check. Emma Peel: Is that really what you think of me? John Steed: Well... just my type, Mrs. Peel.
Sir August de Winter: A man with an umbrella is a man praying for rain. John Steed: And a man without one is a fool.
John Steed: So much for science, I'll stick to swordplay.
Sir August de Wynter: [addressing the world leaders] Now is the winter of your discontent!
John Steed: Mrs. Peel, you're needed.
[last lines] Mother: [raising champagne glass] A toast; to a job well done. Emma Peel: To a narrow escape. Mother: Macaroon? Emma Peel: [shaking her head to Mother,] Thank you, Steed. John Steed: No, no. Thank you, Mrs. Peel. [All drink champagne as camera zooms off roof top]
Emma Peel: How now, brown cow.
Mother: Nothing is impossible, Father, I often think of 6 impossible things before breakfast.
Sir August de Winter: You will buy your weather from me! And by God you'll pay for it.
Father: Hello, Mrs. Peel, welcome back to The Ministry. Now we're going to have a talk. Emma Peel: About the weather, how topical! Father: It'll help pass the time. Emma Peel: Time would pass anyway if you think about it logically! But then so few do think logically, or even anti-logically. Clockwise or anti-clockwise, tick-toc, toc-tick, see-saw, Margery Daw. It amounts to the same thing! After all how do you know I'm the real Mrs Peel? Father: How real do you feel, Mrs. Peel? Emma Peel: I'll repeat the question, bypassing the weather, which, no doubt, being British, we'll return to in a moment. Do I walk like Mrs Peel, talk like Mrs Peel? Am I witty, wise, wonderful to know? Or, do I go around shooting Ministry agents, attempting to rule the world on my days off? Father: Now you're just playing games!
Sir August de Wynter: Weather is no longer in God's hands but in mine.
Sir August de Wynter: Rain or shine, all is mine!
Emma Peel: [confronted with wiring panel] Was it red or black? Here goes, eeny, meeny, miney...
Maria Hill: Thor, what's his play? Thor: He has an army, called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the Earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract. Maria Hill: An army. From outer space. Pepper Potts: So he's building another portal. That's what he needs Erik Selvig for. Thor: Selvig? Pepper Potts: He's an astrophysicist. Thor: He's a friend. Bruce Banner: Loki has them under some kind of spell. Along with one of ours. Maria Hill: I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading an army from here. Pepper Potts: I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him. Thor: Take care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard. And he is my brother. Bruce Banner: He killed eighty people in two days. Thor: He's adopted.
Alice: He says unless we accept his demands, the weather will keep getting colder and colder until we'll all have to go to hell just to warm up.
Bailey: Oh, fuck!
Sir August de Wynter: "John Steed." What a horse's arse of a name.
[repeated line] John Steed, Emma Peel: Tea?
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